Missing and Not

I'm missing France and French today. I know I do a French Club every week at school, but it's different from learning it and being immersed in it. I hope that I'm helping my French Club students gain a love of French so that they'll want to take it in junior high and high school. But mostly it's so that I don't forget everything. And I've forgotten a lot of the more complicated things. One day I hope that I'll be able to take some more college level French courses.

                                         

I'm missing art. I really miss my ceramics and drawing classes I took at BYU.  Taking the time to create was something I loved and struggled with and loved all the more for that struggle. I checked out a watercolor book at the library yesterday with the half-formed plan of trying out watercolor again, especially when Cody's gone on his trips in the next few months.

I'm missing energy. I had a horrid migraine (or what I refer to as a migraine since the doctor obviously says it isn't unless it's diagnosed) last night.  I couldn't sleep for a few hours and I've been lacking in energy most of today.


I'm missing the love of teaching today. This is probably absent from my life today because 1) it was there yesterday, 2) I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and I am sooo affected by the amount of sleep I get, and 3) it seems like a lot of the teachers are just as exhausted as I am at school lately and no one is doing the cheering up and rallying. If I had the energy I would try, but I've just been so stretched lately.

I'm missing my memory.  I've been having blank stretches in my memory, they only last for about a minute but there is no memory whatsoever in my mind of certain things in my life.  I'm sure it's just because I've been tired lately, but I really don't like forgetting things.

I'm not missing unwelcome memories. While I've been forgetting certain things, a lot of other memories have been crowding my brain and making it hard for me to sleep and focus.  Sometimes those memories are unimportant, like thinking about how one of my students moved around the classroom. Who cares? But it can play back and forth in my memory. Other memories are more potent and lead to comparisons and I wish they would stay in the back room so I could fully appreciate the present and find ways to make the best of where I'm at now, instead of wishing for more efficient days or more harmonious days or days when I felt more intellectually stretched.

I'm not missing having an unreliable car. It's been so wonderful having our Mazda 6 this winter.  I've never had to really wonder if the car would be able to make it anywhere. And while the Saturn lives on, it's so nice having a car that is comfortable, classy, and reliable.

I'm not missing homework assignments for a college grade.

I'm not missing single's ward drama, especially in February.

I'm not missing being unemployed.

I know life isn't always the ideal and I know it probably won't ever be exactly what I thought I wanted, but I will get lucky sometimes and get something better. Sometimes it'll be worse, but if I just do the things I can control--sleep, exercise, eating right, telling my husband I love him every day, talking with my family often, keeping my testimony strong, and paying tithing (BIG testimony builder moments with that one lately)--then I know I'll be blessed to be able to endure and make it through.

Felt like an update...

Cody and I found out last week that he had been selected by OFAC for his summer internship.  He accepted the internship yesterday after prayer and discussion with his program leader.  Now he knows where he'll be working!

I've been chugging away at school. This time of year I feel like I have less patience and have been trying to be aware of that as I interact with others at work, especially my students.  They are getting ready for a fifth grade only writing test at the end of the month and I've been trying to maintain my patience with the students who can write well but don't like the topic so they don't write anything during our practice times.

January was an eventful month with my last two great-grandmas passing away within two weeks of each other.  I got to see my parents twice and spend a bunch of time with them and my sister and her family.  And oddly enough, today is the four year anniversary of the funeral of my Great Grandma Yates.

I've begun reading The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. It was a treat to see my students eyes when they saw I was reading a book---for fun!--that was over 1200 pages. They thought I was crazy.

I realized this morning as I stood outside my classroom door greeting everyone that I am grateful to not teach sixth grade because there were two couples holding hands walking down the hallway.  Oh young love! How it never works out and they don't even know.  I'm glad I don't have to deal with that kind of drama in my class.

My work on my crochet blanket is coming along nicely (thought I should update on that since that was my last post).  Cody and I have begun exercising using some free apps I got on my iPad and it's been good but hard--especially to do abs straight for ten minutes. We've only done that twice.  Well, I'll be watching the State of the Union address and trying to be an informed and good citizen, especially since I missed the Inauguration on the 20th.