4 Years

I was in high school for four years. I was in college for four years. I taught at Barnett Elementary for four years.  Four years seems to be my time range until big changes happen and I have to say a lot of good byes to people.

During these last four years that I've been a teacher at Barnett, I got married

I taught fifth grade for two years and third grade for two years, my nephew was born, I lived in Washington DC for a summer












Cody graduated from BYU


I cooked my first turkey, I got pregnant twice, I lived in three different apartments, I've been to California three times and Michigan twice, I've grown out my hair twice and cut it shorter twice, I started work on my Masters in Education (and should finish it soon), I was in a car accident, two of my great-grandmas died, my grandpa passed away,












I gave birth to Calvin, I took two months of maternity leave,  and now...

now I leave for a new adventure in Maryland.

I'm really going to miss all of my friends at Barnett and the students that I taught.  However, thank goodness for Facebook and email so we can keep in contact.

I can't believe it's here. The beginning of the end of our time in Provo.

I chose a great sub!

The past seven weeks that I've been on maternity leave, I've followed the emails between my sub and one of my student's parents.  This student and I didn't have a bad relationship, but he was a great self-distractor and distractor to his friends, so I would work with him a lot on appropriate behavior, etc.  When he did well, I let him know, but I think that our "let's work on this" conversations outnumbered the "you did great" conversations and he didn't feel like he was up to the task of managing his own behavior.

Now, back to the emails I've been tracking for seven weeks: My sub has helped this kid and his parent feel success. I've read many emails of thanks from this parent to my sub.

And I'll be honest, my first gut-wrenching emotion is that I'm a lousy teacher and she's better than I am.

But then I realize: I CHOSE A GREAT SUB! I chose a sub that has the energy to do what I physically and emotionally couldn't handle my last weeks of being pregnant. I chose a sub who finds creative ways to motivate students to change their behavior.  I chose a wonderful teacher to be with my class of third graders so I wouldn't need to worry about them or their learning while I'm home. She is better than me at certain things because she's a different person with different strengths. And she was just the person that student needed to help change his behavior, not me.

Loss

Several of my friends have experienced miscarriages, stillbirths, or infant death in the last year and it has broken my heart.  Especially with having Calvin with us now and the sadness we felt when we couldn't bring him home from the hospital right away, the idea of losing him now is unbearable.

A year ago I read, Pregnancy After a Loss: A Guide to Pregnancy After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death by Carol Cirulli Lanham.

found here

It brought me a lot of peace and reconciliation as I read about the conflicting emotions other women felt after a pregnancy loss--the deep sorrow that can't really be explained unless you've experienced it yourself, the fear of trying again because "what if it happens again?", the sense of disloyalty to the baby that you lost, the hope to try again because "what if it was a one time thing?", the need to try again to know that you aren't a failure.  It is okay to feel those emotions, just as long as you can get past them at some point, even if it means talking to a professional.

My heart goes out to some relatives who just lost their baby girl last night.  They knew it was going to happen because she was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, but still.  I can't even imagine their sorrow, even having experienced a loss myself, but I didn't carry a baby to almost full-term.  They did.  Thankfully, we and they have a knowledge of the innocence of children, and a belief in the plan of salvation.  They know that their daughter is theirs for eternity, even though they don't get to have her on Earth with them now.  She is still theirs.  What a beautiful, reassuring truth.

In the Ensign this past month, there was an article written very similar to their situation. You can read it here.

If you would like to donate any money to my relations, you can do so here.

The Waiting Game & Pregnancy Books I Recommend

With four weeks until my due date, Cody and I are now at the point in this pregnancy that is just waiting--waiting for our baby to be ready, waiting for my body to be ready, and there's not much we can do to hurry along either of those processes. It just requires waiting.  Even though I was a little antsy about waiting  a week and a half ago, I'm pretty much resigned to it now. The baby is in a nice, warm, safe, healthy place, exactly where he should be until he is born.

During the past month, Cody and I have gotten his bedroom ready and as of yesterday, we now have everything (we think!) that we need to have him come home and everyone be comfortable.  Yesterday we made our last big purchases: crib mattress, humidifier with the capability to put medicine in it if we need it to be diffused, and a space heater (because his room is really hard to get warm, even with our heater on).

Here's the finished product:

Crib and dresser

Baby bouncer, bookshelf with baby stuff on top two shelves and photos & music underneath, rocker

Bassinet (that will go into our room once we've brought him home from the hospital) and hospital bag (with clothes for me and some stuff for him)

Also during these last five months I've been doing reading on pregnancy, labor, and the postpartum period. I don't buy into one method or process or whatever. Whatever needs to happen to keep me and the baby safe and for the baby to be delivered is what I'm in favor of. As such, the books I've read reflect that. In addition, I have to go back to work after six weeks and possibly we'll be moving at the end of the summer if/when Cody gets into grad school so I'd kind of like to have muscle back in my body, so I read a book on helping with that.

Bringing Up Bebe

I really liked the French philosophy of pregnancy and childrearing. A lot of it seemed like common sense actions that my Mom did when we were growing up and when she did daycare.  Plus, it was written well and very easy to read.

Birth Day

This book went through the history of all the different types of birthing methods and why some are more popular now than others.  I thought it was a fascinating read plus it gave me more knowledge on my body, what's going on in the hospitals, and the experience that I will probably have and the experience Cody will have.

Easy Labor

Since every woman is different and so is every baby, and therefore, every pregnancy too, I liked the easy way this book went through most, if not all, the different types of birthing methods and pain relief, with pros and cons to each.

The New Mom's Survival Guide

Don't let the title scare you--this book was awesome! It gave really good information and advice about the postpartum period.  The author is a doctor and a mom so she could provide her own experience from being a practicing doctor and seeing her patients, to being pregnant herself, and then the postpartum experience she went through.  Really good book to know what to expect and it's funny.

Lose That Baby Fat

Similar to The New Mom's Survival Guide, this book was really good because the author used her own experience of losing weight healthily after having her first child.  That's what I loved the most about this book--she went through each month and gave target workouts for that month, how much weight will probably have been lost and why, and how you are probably feeling about yourself and your body.  And it isn't a six month or six week program. It's a real-life program--it has workouts to last for a whole year because that is about how long it will really take for your body to completely "bounce back"--muscles on the inside and out, emotions, menstrual cycle to regulate, breastfeeding effects, etc.  Another thing that I really appreciated in this book is that each workout has a picture of what you should look like when you're doing the 20 minute (yes, only 20 minutes) workout in your home.

When plans can't translate to reality

I've been making some stinkin' awesome teaching plans lately.  Seriously, they're really good. They will increase engagement, learning, and fun.

Unfortunately, after lunch I just feel so tired...and the plans happen but they aren't as amazing as they would usually be because my energy is lower and I can't manage to muster enough of it to excite my little third graders to the level that is needed for my plans.

At least they'll be getting a fantastic long-term sub with energy when this baby comes in the next couple of months.  Then they can remember what it is like to have a teacher with energy to go along with the fun plans.

And when I come back after my six weeks, maybe I'll have some energy again...but probably not. Sorry kiddos, I'm doing my best! (But there's really only so much I can do when there's another human inside of me taking all of my energy.)

Registered! (and our diapering plan)

Holy cow! Only 15 weeks till the due date! That's basically a semester, folks.  I guess it's time to let people know what we would like for our new baby, in case anyone wants to buy anything.  We're registered with Babies R Us and Amazon.

You can search using either my name or Cody's

You can search using either my name or Cody's

Also, we couldn't register with gDiapers but this is our plan for diapering:

From birth weight till about 13 pounds we're planning on using disposable diapers.  We both have used and feel comfortable with disposable diapers so why not make having a new baby a little easier by not trying out cloth diapers from the beginning?  Let's just get through sleep deprivation first.

Then around 13-15 pounds, we would really like to try out cloth diapers.  One of my friends used gDiapers and I really like them.  We would get the disposable inserts because we don't have the laundry facilities now to get an all-in-one diaper (like Bumgenius). So in essence, these cloth diapers will be pretty similar to the disposable, only we would just be paying for inserts once we've bought the pants (plus, the inserts can be flushed or thrown away).

This is the bundle that we would like to use for when he is 13-28 pounds.  We've even put in the two colors that we would like for the diapers (blue and yellow).  We know it's a hefty amount just for diapers, and if no one wants to do this then you could purchase a gift certificate for us and we could pay for the difference.

Then once he has grown out of the medium sized gDiapers (at 28 pounds), we'll decide: go back to disposable, or try out the Bumgenius all-in-ones (because we're hoping to be moving to a place where we can have our own washer and dryer at that point...we'll see if that's really going to be a reality).  So that's our diapering plan.

Baby items we already own

As Cody and I went about beginning to register for baby items last weekend, we took stock of what we already had.  First off, we received these two items for free from a wonderful woman in our ward (church) and neighborhood.  They are in great condition!
 

Don't remember what these things are called, but we have one!

A really nice regular stroller

Also, I've been crocheting the past two years and made two blankets for our new little guy.  The first blanket is the first item I ever crocheted, so don't judge it too harshly.  The second smaller blanket I just crocheted this summer when I was avoiding homework.

First crocheted blanket, about 2 1/2 feet by 2 1/2 feet...I think. I haven't actually measured it.

Infant blanket made in June for when our baby is really small

These sheets Cody and I paid for using a gift card we received to Pottery Barn from my aunt when we got married.  For the last three years we would pull it out and ask ourselves, "What are we going to use this for?" because we wanted to get something good.  Well, now we have.  These are the first of four sheets. The other two were on back-order and will arrive in the next few weeks.

Colorful animals, dark blue, light green chevron, and circley things with random animals in circular shapes

Finally, these last few items were ordered by myself back in January when I was trying to buoy my spirits that a successful pregnancy would be possible.  The items themselves were free with coupons, we just had to pay for shipping.  Not quite sure how I feel about the sling (I think I need to practice putting it on because I totally didn't get it right the first time!), but we'll see as time goes on.

Nursing pillow (or for sleeping on planes...)

Sling to hold a baby...we'll see how that really works out.

Nursing cover--both Cody and I like the pattern which will be great since both of us get to use it...not.

Carseat cover--dark blue chevron with a really soft velvety fabric on the inside.