4 Years

I was in high school for four years. I was in college for four years. I taught at Barnett Elementary for four years.  Four years seems to be my time range until big changes happen and I have to say a lot of good byes to people.

During these last four years that I've been a teacher at Barnett, I got married

I taught fifth grade for two years and third grade for two years, my nephew was born, I lived in Washington DC for a summer












Cody graduated from BYU


I cooked my first turkey, I got pregnant twice, I lived in three different apartments, I've been to California three times and Michigan twice, I've grown out my hair twice and cut it shorter twice, I started work on my Masters in Education (and should finish it soon), I was in a car accident, two of my great-grandmas died, my grandpa passed away,












I gave birth to Calvin, I took two months of maternity leave,  and now...

now I leave for a new adventure in Maryland.

I'm really going to miss all of my friends at Barnett and the students that I taught.  However, thank goodness for Facebook and email so we can keep in contact.

I can't believe it's here. The beginning of the end of our time in Provo.

The Waiting Game & Pregnancy Books I Recommend

With four weeks until my due date, Cody and I are now at the point in this pregnancy that is just waiting--waiting for our baby to be ready, waiting for my body to be ready, and there's not much we can do to hurry along either of those processes. It just requires waiting.  Even though I was a little antsy about waiting  a week and a half ago, I'm pretty much resigned to it now. The baby is in a nice, warm, safe, healthy place, exactly where he should be until he is born.

During the past month, Cody and I have gotten his bedroom ready and as of yesterday, we now have everything (we think!) that we need to have him come home and everyone be comfortable.  Yesterday we made our last big purchases: crib mattress, humidifier with the capability to put medicine in it if we need it to be diffused, and a space heater (because his room is really hard to get warm, even with our heater on).

Here's the finished product:

Crib and dresser

Baby bouncer, bookshelf with baby stuff on top two shelves and photos & music underneath, rocker

Bassinet (that will go into our room once we've brought him home from the hospital) and hospital bag (with clothes for me and some stuff for him)

Also during these last five months I've been doing reading on pregnancy, labor, and the postpartum period. I don't buy into one method or process or whatever. Whatever needs to happen to keep me and the baby safe and for the baby to be delivered is what I'm in favor of. As such, the books I've read reflect that. In addition, I have to go back to work after six weeks and possibly we'll be moving at the end of the summer if/when Cody gets into grad school so I'd kind of like to have muscle back in my body, so I read a book on helping with that.

Bringing Up Bebe

I really liked the French philosophy of pregnancy and childrearing. A lot of it seemed like common sense actions that my Mom did when we were growing up and when she did daycare.  Plus, it was written well and very easy to read.

Birth Day

This book went through the history of all the different types of birthing methods and why some are more popular now than others.  I thought it was a fascinating read plus it gave me more knowledge on my body, what's going on in the hospitals, and the experience that I will probably have and the experience Cody will have.

Easy Labor

Since every woman is different and so is every baby, and therefore, every pregnancy too, I liked the easy way this book went through most, if not all, the different types of birthing methods and pain relief, with pros and cons to each.

The New Mom's Survival Guide

Don't let the title scare you--this book was awesome! It gave really good information and advice about the postpartum period.  The author is a doctor and a mom so she could provide her own experience from being a practicing doctor and seeing her patients, to being pregnant herself, and then the postpartum experience she went through.  Really good book to know what to expect and it's funny.

Lose That Baby Fat

Similar to The New Mom's Survival Guide, this book was really good because the author used her own experience of losing weight healthily after having her first child.  That's what I loved the most about this book--she went through each month and gave target workouts for that month, how much weight will probably have been lost and why, and how you are probably feeling about yourself and your body.  And it isn't a six month or six week program. It's a real-life program--it has workouts to last for a whole year because that is about how long it will really take for your body to completely "bounce back"--muscles on the inside and out, emotions, menstrual cycle to regulate, breastfeeding effects, etc.  Another thing that I really appreciated in this book is that each workout has a picture of what you should look like when you're doing the 20 minute (yes, only 20 minutes) workout in your home.

Accepted

I was accepted into the SUU M. Ed program. It starts in June. Here's to hoping I can actually do the thesis option and get it completed in a year! :)

When Plans Change

I'm not one for plans changing. In fact, I hate to change. I know that it's part of being human to resist change to a certain degree, that's why there's usually a messy transition period when feelings are changing from the old normal to the new normal. I cry and try to assimilate, but it is so hard. And then after some time, I adjust.

These past few months plans have changed and I think I'm on the other side of the transition period where I have successfully (for the most part) adjusted to the new normal.

In the old normal this was the plan for the next few months:

• Cody would have applied for grad schools and we would be finding out where he got accepted about now
• I would be preparing to leave Barnett Elementary at the end of this school year
• We would be getting ready to move across the country, most likely

In this new normal, this is the plan:

• Cody will take the GRE again this summer and apply to grad schools in the fall
• I've applied to the SUU M.Ed program that they're doing with my school district and will be finding out in the next month if I've been accepted
• We're moving to a different apartment within our complex and still in our ward at the end of July
• Getting ready to be at Barnett Elementary in third grade for another year

Some of the positive side effects are:

• I'm settling into my classroom at school more. I've been thinking even more seriously about the environment that I've had so far this year and what I'd like to change for the rest of this year and the changes I'd like to make to my classroom for next year.
• I'm having my parents ship out my bike so that I can ride it around all spring, summer, and fall
• I'm not freaking out anymore by the changes because enough time has passed since November when we started making these decisions

Three to four years in five minutes

After driving around in the snow this morning and discovering that the place (where I thought for sure I would find a small gift for Cody) didn't have it, I came home and began procrastination rituals.  What am I procrastinating?  Cleaning my house (because we didn't do that Saturday; instead we saw the Desolation of Smaug), grading, planning for school, class roles for Primary, working on Janeen's potatoes for dinner, and possibly making a buche de Noel (but I'm hoping to do that tonight with Cody).

During my successful procrastination, I listened to The Nutcracker, ate a banana and a candy sled, and made name tags for all the children in Primary.  Then I decided I would look up some information on the Internet which inevitably makes me sad. I thought maybe this time it wouldn't, but it did.  After trying to cheer myself by reading happy things and having that not work, I started wasting my life on Facebook. But this time it wasn't a waste.

I became sucked into looking at pictures and after five minutes I realized that I was looking at pictures from 3 1/2 years ago.  Man alive! I thought (and I'm not joking, I really thought that) I am so blessed and lucky to have had so many opportunities the past three to four years of my life.  So here is a photo tribute to the experiences, but more importantly, the people that helped make my life so much better these past three years.

October 2009: After a life-changing hike with Lori Lund (Miller, now) and Kasey Butler. I didn't realize that long-term effects that this hike would have on my life but I frequently think about the things we talked about and the lessons we learned on that hike.  I needed my friends at this hard time in my life and they were there for me.

December 2009: at Lindsey's Ugly Sweater Party. I wish I had a better copy of the lower picture, but I think it's lost to cyberspace. Lindsey has been my friend through thick and thin, close and far, writing and phone calls. 

December 2009: Doing "See no evil,  hear no evil, speak no evil" with Ben and Jacob.  My brothers probably don't realize how much they make my day brighter, but they do.  

April 2010: My first full day in France. Sometimes that doesn't even seem real.  I learned a lot about myself when I was there. It was a good soul-cleansing and goal fulfilling trip.

May 2010: I got to spend 6 weeks in France. WHAT!? How many people get to do that? 

October 2010: This was a great group of roommates. Funny to think that we're all (except Biva) married.  I love this picture because we actually look like we could be tall or average-height people. And we are so not.

February 2011: I loved working with these ladies at Freshman Academy/Mentoring, especially traveling to Atlanta, Georgia to present at the First-Year Experience Conference.

April 2011: My partner in crime, Amanda Leifson.  So so so glad that we went to DC as a graduation present to myself.

May 2011: Verdon & Amberlee Walker gave me hope that I would find someone to love and love me back.  Verdon was one of my best friends for two years and I'm so glad that he's pursing his goals with Amberlee at his side.

August 2011: Taking engagement pictures.  Cody has changed my life and brought more happiness and laughter into my life than I deserve, but that I need.  Crazy that it has been two years.

January 2012: Parents. What would I do without them?

June 2013: My nephew, Westley.  That child is the reason I've seen my sister and brother-in-law so much the past year and a half (just kidding, sort of...haha).  I love this kid so much!

Even though life is hard, so hard, sometimes, at least I have good people around me who love me and whom I love.  I don't feel like the most faith-filled person right now, but I know I'm being supported by the faith of those stronger than I am right now. Thank you.

and Merry Christmas!

Thoughts during Fall Break

When I told my mom on Sunday that I had fall break this week, she asked, "What is that?" since it doesn't exist in the school district my brother attends in Michigan or in any of the schools that my sister and I attended growing up. My answer was that it was created for teachers so that they can come back to school and be ready to be with their students again.  We all laughed, but such were my feelings on Sunday.

After another roller coaster each day at school, I was really looking forward to my fall break.  As the day ended on Wednesday, one of my students invited me, yet again, to her soccer game, the last one of the season. I said that I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it, but I'd see.  Cody and I ended up being able to go and watch this student (and another one of my students) in their last soccer game of the season. It was really fun! I was able to talk with their parents in an informal manner about their lives. And my students saw me in an informal setting, laughing and having fun.

And that's when it hit me.

Just like during my student teaching when my mentor teacher, Rachelle, had to call me out and say, "You need to be yourself with the students. You're funny and laughing at lunch but you get all serious when you're teaching. Be yourself all of the time!" I realized that I was doing the same thing with my third graders. This is one of the reasons why the first week of school was so much fun and why the following six weeks have been roller coasters of good and bad and discouragement and hope.

Duh! I wasn't being me with my students. I didn't and still don't know exactly how to be me with my third graders, but I figured it out with my fifth graders so that gives me somewhere to start.  I need to laugh every day with my students or else I will go crazy. I won't want to go to work, I won't enjoy teaching, and I'm sure my students won't enjoy learning as much.  I'm surprised so many of them have said they enjoy school still.  I wouldn't if I was in third grade with a teacher as serious as I have been.  I need to be more fun, like I know I can be.

Another way this was revealed to me today was as I was checking their writing homework, I kept chuckling over their creativity and humor. I have really funny students. I should find more time to laugh with them.  An example of their wit:

One two buckle my shoe. Buckle your own shoe! Who said that? I did. What are you doing with those silly buckles on your shoes anyway? Three four shut the door. You shut it--you opened it! Five six pick up sticks. Why should I pick them up--do you think I'm your slave? Buckle my shoe, shut the door, puck up sticks, next thing you'll be telling me to lay them straight!! But it's only a poem. Nine ten a big fat, oh never mind.

Isn't she funny? Here's a picture of my creative, funny, and adorable students. I just need to remember that they are. :)

Three of my students with their fish as part of their aquarium project

I'm alive (and Lord of the Flies moment)

I realize I haven't posted on here for almost a month. It isn't because I haven't had anything going on. It's because I've had too much going on--meetings, getting ready for Primary Program, figuring out how to be a third grade teacher when I'm used to being a fifth grade teacher, Relief Society meeting, General Conference, doing family history work and taking the names to the temple, orchestra, and trying to decide if I'm going to exercise again.

Here's a little peak into a day I had two weeks ago after doing an art project.  It was only a small moment, but it was the moment in between finishing up and cleaning up... The name of the video should give you a clue as to how I was feeling:

Checking off the list

Today I woke up in a better mood than yesterday but still not great. I wasn't terribly optimistic about how school would go, especially after how yesterday ended.  However, I tried to pretend that it would be okay. I had a flash of inspiration on how to engage my students more in math--PowerPoints, whispering, and songs.  I used several PowerPoints today and I definitely employed whispering, which was followed by station activities where they answered similar questions that most of them got wrong on the test yesterday.  It made all the difference!

Yesterday's math lesson=I didn't know what was wrong with me as a teacher and why I was teaching third grade
Today's math lesson=why didn't I do this before, this was awesome, but I can't use it too much or else it will get old

After school I looked up some fun multiplication facts songs that I'm going to play for my class the next few weeks to help them learn their times tables.

Not only was figuring out how to engage my students a success, I also got to watch an episode of The West Wing with Cody (a show we love!  We started in when we were in DC and now it's a friendly reminder of where we lived all summer, helps us keep national events in mind, and connects us to incredibly like-able TV characters), practiced my violin, and went for a run.

I'd say that the mental list I made for myself, thinking it was impossible this morning, has now become finished. And I feel great about that!

Last year and this year

I think that perhaps because I am a school teacher, my New Year's resolutions begin in January and resurface (or I make new goals) in August or September when school starts again.  Last year, my goals for the new school year consisted mainly of building up my running so that I could run for 10 miles before my birthday in October.  I made that goal.  After achieving that goal, I made several other goals for school that I won't go into.

This year, I guess I'm feeling more able (or more lacking in previous habits so I want to do better), so my goals are not to run 10 miles or even a mileage goal, but merely to run or exercise 2-3 times a week, reread the Book of Mormon, and play my violin regularly again.  I've been fulfilling my last goal by joining the American Fork Symphony.  So now, instead of getting up on Saturdays and running like I was doing a year ago, I'm getting to the junior high by 8 and rehearsing for two hours on Saturdays.  The pieces we're playing for our first concert are:

(non-video form: Symphonie espangole, 1st movement by Edouard Lola, Capriccio Espagnol by Rimsky-Korsakov, Slavonic March by Tchaikovsky, Pavane pour une infante defunte by Ravel, Harry Potter Symphonic Suite by John Williams arranged by Jerry Brubaker, and Berceuse and Finale (from "Firebird Suite") by Igor Stravinsky arranged by Merle J. Isaac). I'm playing in the second violin section and it's so fun to be playing in an orchestra again, since I haven't done that in four years.  

Violin, running, and French were all very important to me in high school.  They were still important in college but in different ways: I participated in the non-audition orchestra for three semesters my first three years, I minored in French studies, and I made sure that I ran at least once a week, usually on Saturdays before cleaning my apartment.  Now I'm slowly bringing them back into my life again in more quantity post-college.  I have French Club at school, running 2-3 times, and now orchestra.  Perhaps next year I will do more with French than just French Club; we'll see.  

Insight on stuffy noses

As I've been fighting the Battle for De-Congestion this week, I did some research on what makes a stuffy nose, well, stuffy.  My inspiration for this highly scientific research question came from my observation that I had been blowing my nose all day, nothing was coming out (or hardly anything), and I was still stuffy.  It seemed to me that mucus was not the cause of my stuffy nose. And guess what? I was right!

According to Medline Plus, nasal congestion is not the result of thick mucus; it is from inflamed blood vessels. Inflamed blood vessels?! Then why have I always just blown my nose? Blowing your nose is actually one of the things that can make a stuffy nose stay stuffy for longer. It continues to inflame your blood vessels. Interesting.

Once I learned that I was exacerbating the problem by blowing my nose every ten minutes, I put my Charmin toilet paper squares away, and did a Google search for how to clear a stuffy nose, since obviously blowing your nose does not do anything to clear it.

I fell upon a useful wikiHow site: 3 Ways to Clear a Stuffy Nose.  Since it was about 11pm at this point and I didn't want to do any of the more complicated remedies (salt water, warm washcloth, etc.), I did the first recommendation after 1) Stop blowing your nose, which is "2) Before you buy anything, try breathing in deeply, then slowly exhaling all of your air. Hold your breath until you are empty.  Pinch your nose to avoid accidentally breathing out.  Rock your head back and forth slowly taking 2 seconds from looking at the sky to looking at the ground.  Repeat until you absolutely have to take a breath. Your nose should be decongested."  And hallelujah, it worked!

Why on earth would such a strange thing work? The wikiHow explains, "The way this method works is that your brain realizes that you need to breathe, so it opens up your nasal passages by lessening the blood flow to your nose.  Typically the congestion is caused by increased blood flow to that area-that's why you can blow your nose and nothing comes out."

Then I experienced the second most annoying thing about nasal congestion: I can breath out of one nostril but not the other. Why?  I did another search and learned that our nostrils are almost always "taking turns" so to speak. One nostril works harder than the other and then they switch so that our sense of smell is more complete (something about scent molecules breaking down at different rates from each other...), and so that our nose stays nicely filtered and humidified.

In conclusion: The nose is more cool than I thought. I don't need to ever waste my time with blowing my nose when it's congested again and I hope you won't either.

The First Two Days

Yesterday morning I dropped Cody off at the airport for his flight to DC since his internship there starts next week.  Then after napping for fifty minutes, I went to school.  After some of the craziness that has existed earlier this week, yesterday was a very nice break.  My students painted, tutored kindergarteners, worked on revising their multigenre autobiographies, and participated in a fifth grade wax museum.  I began working on research again. Exercise also entered my life again.  After taking a break off to do the elimination diet, I decided I should start exercising again, especially since my back has begun feeling a lot better since going to the chiropractor (I still get headaches though).  I subjected myself to an intense ten minutes of an arm workout and five minutes of an ab workout.  Ugh! It was so hard! I work up sore this morning.

Today was a good day at school. I bought some things for school next year--still no name tags, after ten minutes of internal debate at the Utah-Idaho Supply store--and did a speed workout for about 25 minutes.  I got to talk with Cody and that was wonderful.  I love that we keep up some of our traditions on the phone. It makes it seem not as bad to have him on the other side of the country.

I just finished a really good book and started it's sequel.  The book I just finished is called, Hero's Song by Edith Pattou. The sequel that I began tonight is called Fire Arrow.  Apparently they're based in some Irish myths and legends.  I love that they're different than other fantasy books I've read.  However, when I discovered that they're of Irish origin it made me think that I have a thing for Irish legends and myths because this same time last year I got sucked into a series of books that were based off of Irish myths and history.  I guess that just means I need to visit Ireland one day.

Tomorrow my goal is to go for a four mile run (avoiding the traffic and busy-ness of the Utah City Marathon), clean, and work on some things for school next year. Oh yeah, I'm also planning on watching Little Traitor so that Cody and I can talk about it together, because he's going to watch it this weekend too.

I started again...

It's been a year and I decided I won't have the excuse of completely falling in love with Cody to distract me this summer.  Distracted from what?  From the story I started 11 years ago. ELEVEN YEARS!! What is wrong with me?

And want to know the best part? I still laugh at my lame jokes in the story.  I was able to breeze through the first part of my story today--only took me an hour and fifteen minutes. That's probably because I'd started to go through it last May/June. It'll get harder as I keep going.  Parts 3-5 I haven't looked at since August 2008. TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHT, people!  That's four years! That's a really long time to get distracted with school and dating and working and graduating and finding a job and dating the best man ever and then getting engaged to him (and then marrying him).

Four years.  Eleven years.  Who knows, maybe I'll actually finish going through it for real this summer and if I have any guts left in me after that endeavor, could I really go after my goal of trying to get it published? We'll see.  Kinda scares me and makes me want to write with a penname so that no one can trace my silliness to me but then another part of me thinks that I should be proud of it and not be scared.  Plus, one of the reasons I used to play around with pen names was so that if I got it published when I was still unmarried, it could still be traced to me (dumb, I know).  But I'll be Beth Knudsen forever and I don't need to worry about that.

Oh yeah, another thing I started again: running.  I mean I have been running (or doing yogalates--yoga and pilates) since the new year started, but I ran three times this week! The first two days kicked my butt, but the last day, that was great.

I've also started planning again for school next year (I'm such a nerd) because I want to do so much better at teaching math next year, especially with the new math standards for fifth grade.  I did an alright job and my students learned this past year but I know I can do so much better and I'm really looking forward to it.

Revision on Goal #1

Goal 1: My body protested quite forcibly when I tried to force it awake to go exercise at 5am.
Revision: Keep going once a week for now; when I move to Alpine Village I can use the machines there in the evening-time.  Focus on waking up at 6am to get to the library on time. That's enough for now. Maybe someday my body will be okay with me waking it up at the crack of dawn to exercise. So far it hasn't worked, but stranger things have happened, right?

Goals to help Beth become Human again...

I will never deny that I have thoroughly enjoyed the past couple months of sleeping in because of being job-less and in search-mode. But the time has come for me to join the rest of society again, leave my vacation-like life of sleeping in and getting around 10 hours of sleep every night :) ... Let's see if these goals help:

1. Wake up at 5am to go running on the BYU track with my roommate
2. At least this week and next week, be at the library by 7am to work on research till about 2pm.
3. Eat salads for lunch--or at least something vegetable-y.
4. Write down what I think I need to do for school and for sanity and organize them by days so I don't feel overwhelmed and can work on a little something every day
5. Try as hard as I can not to get behind on my journal...at least no more than a week...
6.Write things down...
7. Decide what needs to stay or go to protect my privacy and image as a teacher...maybe this blog will become private...

Let's see how this works...

Part One is done!!

After a stupid mistake last Tuesday that involved me updating the format of Part One of My Story which resulted in the entire document being encrypted and destroyed.  All the changes I had made last Monday were lost.  I shed a few tears in frustration and sadness.

But then I buckled down and worked on going through Part One once more. I finished going through it today! Now I'll be able to move on to Part Two tomorrow.  If I keep at this pace, I should be done with going through and weeding through my whole story in just four more weeks.

My twelve-year-old writer-self is very happy at this accomplishment. :)

(En français : Les suggestions pour l’étude des écritures)

Aujourd’hui j’ai étudié des suggestions pour l’étude des écritures.  Il y a une question qui dit : « Quelles suggestions n’avez-vous pas encore essayées ? »  Pendant le temps que je lisais les listes, quelques suggestions m’intriguées. 

1. Cherchez les mots-clés et assurez-vous que vous en comprenez le sens. 
2. Servez-vous de la Bible et des cartes de l’histoire de l’Eglise pour apprendre la géographie, les distances, le climat et le terrain.
3. Essayez d’écrire en une seule phrase ou en un paragraphe court l’idée principale du passage
4. Visualisez ce que vous étudiez.

 Je pense que j’essayerai suggestions 1 et 4 quand j’étudie « Prêchez mon Evangile » et les leçons pour l’école de dimanche en français.  Quelquefois, peut-être que j’essayerai suggestion 2 et 3 quand j’étudie les leçons pour l’école de dimanche.  Définitivement, j’essayerai 1 et 4.