Patience?

Recently I've discovered that while I can be patient about some things (children [for the most part], other people's choices that don't really affect me, the weather, etc.) there are some things that I most definitely need work on--for example: people's choices that do affect me, knowing what I'll be doing with my life in the next few months or years, keeping certain comments to myself that I really want to say but maybe the time isn't right.

Yeah...that last one.  I tell myself at night before I go to sleep that there are certain things that I will or will not say, that I will or will not be the first person to say something, and yet it seems that promptly after I've made that decision, I'm placed in a situation where I break that decision I made to myself.  Why? Because I'm not patient enough with myself, with timing, with the natural flow of things.  A poster-child for this problem I have would be like when I'd really wanted the job at Meadow and I told myself I wouldn't talk about it.  Did I talk about it? Um. Yes. I did talk about it and what happened when I didn't get that job? I had to eat my words and be humble.  And not just any kind of humble--I was compelled to be humble which is so much harder.

I'm afraid to pray for patience because then life gets really hard and I'll get lots of wonderful opportunities to practice it but it will be so hard.  So I'll try to practice patience with the situations I have now: getting a job, going forward in life, what to do each day and sometimes not feeling productive, dating, writing, building new friendships with people.  That should be enough room to grow in patience, right? Let's hope so.

Needing a little pick me up? Apparently I did.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good about my life--things are still in the shadows regarding a job but I do have another interview this Thursday for a fifth grade position (my favorite!), plus having a somewhat flippantly uttered whim at the beginning of spring term come true is also a nice surprise and addition to my life (I've started dating someone).  Yet even though I'm feeling pretty happy about life in general, Heavenly Father still found ways to make it even better!

1. I got to see Megan Smith this morning at the temple.
2. I got to see my hot air balloon this morning (it's rainbow-ish design and I know I've seen it on four different times: 28 February 2009, 28 March 2009, 17 October 2009, and 19 March 2011 and today, of course).
3. Cody Knudsen got to see my hot air balloon out the window of the HBLL.
4. Brad Wilcox gave me a hug at the reading workshop this morning (he gives great hugs and he's like a second Dad to me).
5. One of the girls that was in the class I was observed teaching for the Rocky Mountain 3rd grade position came up to me after the reading workshop and told me that she thought I had done a great job and that she'd wanted me to be hired.
6. Amy Miner, one of my former professors and mentors and friends, sent me an email telling me not to be discouraged about finding a job.
7. I bought a little chocolate bar at the grocery store.
8. Amber Thomas reminded me about the activity I was supposed to have already printed out and put on doors already so now I can.
9. I was able to type up my journal entries this morning (rather than taking the time to hand-write them which I usually do) which was a blessing in and of itself because it was five pages and it would probably have exceeded the limit of the last few remaining pages in my current journal.
10. I got a voice mail message from the principal where I have my interview on Thursday in response to my message this morning saying that I didn't know her exact address to send her numbers for my references and so I'd gone to the website and it said the principal was a man. And in my message I told her that I'm assuming she isn't a man so obviously the information was incorrect. And in her message for me, she said that yes the info needs to be updated because she definitely is not a man.  That made me laugh really hard.

People are so nice!

Yesterday a momentous event occurred: My flip-flops that my mom got for me freshman year of BYU from the Dollar Store finally broke.  They should have broke on my way to the MTC yet because Heavenly Father loves me, they did not break until after.

How?  Because my roommate, Em, was nice enough to offer me a ride to the MTC; thus, my flip-flops did not fall apart on the way there and I was able to go into the MTC and be taught by the missionaries because I had shoes on my feet.  As I was leaving the MTC, I got to the corner of University Parkway and 900 E and my one flip-flop totally busted.  So I took off my other one and continued my trek home.  I walked a fairly good distance, enjoying the warm sidewalks and cool grass, and trying to walk more quickly over the asphalt and road areas because those places were hotter.  And then who should pull up to give me a ride but my brother-in-law, Remick.  How blessed am I?  People are so nice!

Then this morning began "Get Lost in Utah County: Part III".

I hopped on the bus around 7:20 to get to my interview in Alpine at 10:20.  I made my transfer successfully and I'm enjoying the ride. As time passes, I know I'm getting closer and closer to my next transfer that will take me to the school, so I turn off my music and direct all my attention outside the window.  As I see the street signs change from N/S to E/W I feel hopeful that I'm on the right track because the All-Knowing-Google directed me that my transfer stop will be at 8:46 at State St and 695 E, and from there I'll walk to 700 E and 17 N.  No biggy, right?

Except that as the bus is cruisin' along, I see 300 E and then the next one is Main Street and the bus turns on Main Street and we're perpendicular to N/S again.  Great!  I inwardly freak out, pull the cord, and get off the bus and begin walking in the direction I just came from. Giving myself a silent pep talk about how I still have twenty minutes till the next bus comes to make the transfer, it's only a few blocks over, I'll totally make it.

Yet, as I walk down Main Street to State Street and south on State, the numbers change from 300 E to being in the Souths again. Thoroughly confused and not quite sure where I even am--I could see the G on the mountain so I thought that maybe I was in Pleasant Grove, but I really didn't know--so I began calling people.  First I called Terri because she's superwoman and can do anything. She didn't answer her phone so I left a message telling her I was lost but that I would continue to call other people.  Then I called Ally Gordon.  Then I called my former roommate Ashley Carter. Nothing worked. Then I tried Paige.  And Paige was my hero of the before-interview-time.  She came and found me and drove me to the school for my interview.

The interview went well. :)

Afterword, I was waiting outside because Terri had gotten a hold of me and she said she would come pick me up and take me to a bus stop so I wouldn't need to wait for the bus that would be coming at 1pm.  The girl who interviewed after me, Brittany, came outside. She and I had taken classes together at BYU and chatted for a few minutes.  Then she graciously offered me a ride back to Provo.  I called Terri, informed her of the change in plans, and rode off with Brittany.

I just need to make a public declaration of gratitude to these kind, caring people who have gone out of their way to help me in my car-less, shoe-less, and directions-challenged state. THANK YOU!

Texting on a New Phone

Last night after I got back from the On The Roof concert and going to Burger Supreme for the first time, I was snuggling in to bed, talking with my roommate who I hadn't seen all day, and I got a text.  The text was from one of my friends saying she got a new number. As such, I promptly saved it in my phone.

This morning, after getting up and cleaning and doing laundry, I started finishing the end of Shakespeare's Henry VI: Part One.  Then I had the brilliant idea that since I didn't see the light of day yesterday because I was stuck in the Freshman Mentoring office finishing the article on peer mentor development: a qualitative rubric analysis, I would water paint this morning.  As I was taking out my water color supplies, I got a text from the friend who had texted me the night before. The text read:

Oh great. How is your pregnancy going?

I pretty much died laughing right then.  Seriously. Tears were coming out of my eyes and I couldn't hold my body up because I was convulsing with laughter.  How did I respond?

You just sent that to the wrong person. This is Beth and I'm definitely not pregnant unless it's by immaculate conception. ;)  But that gave me one of the best laughs I've had for a while. Tears were coming.


Her response: Haha, I didn't know it would sent to everyone.  That was to someone else.
Me: Well that's what I figured :)


Texting on a new phone is always an adventure.

4th notification

I've been blessed to have had four interviews for teaching jobs in the fall. Unfortunately, I've also had four emails telling me that those positions are now filled.

It's a little disheartening but I've learned not to really get my heart set on any job until I get the call that they want to hire me. I know it will come eventually.

In the meantime, I keep searching every single day on the three websites that are going to soon take over gmail as my most frequented websites: Teachers-Teachers, Alpine Jobs, and Nebo Jobs.  I recently get myself set up on the Nebo district website and have applied to the one position that was listed at the time.  Thankfully, my list of schools that I've applied to hasn't gotten smaller than 6 at any one point, but it will be a very happy day when I can officially archive that email I keep sending to myself of where I've applied and which positions are now filled.

In other news, I emailed two professors that I've worked with a lot the past few years at BYU--Tim Morrison and Brad Wilcox.  Brad emailed me back and informed me that he and Tim will be meeting Tuesday morning at 8 and would I like to join them so I can be up to speed on everything that is going on. It will feel good to be involved again.  Even though it will be strictly voluntary (unless I apply for a grant like I almost did last year), it will be great for grad school admissions...but grad school will only be a possibility if I get a job...which I will, at the right time and for the right school.

By "some" chance...

I went to the TRC (Teaching Resource Center) at the MTC (Missionary Training Center) this afternoon, like I've been doing again every week since I graduated.  I've been so blessed because I've been able to be with the group of missionaries that have been there for the past few weeks.  They've been here for seven weeks and have only two more weeks here.  Since I've been taught by several of them more than once over the past few weeks, I've been able to see the growth and change as they've been learning French, their ability to teach the Gospel, and their ability to teach with a companion.

Today was one of the best experiences I've had as a volunteer there.  I was taught first by two elders: Elders Cline and Barker.  Elder Barker, I think, knew French before (I think that because his accent and sentence structure and grammar are very advanced), whereas Elder Cline learned all of it in the MTC.  They taught me a lesson on how we gain revelation by studying the Book of Mormon.  Elder Barker brought up the point that all our questions can be answered as we read the Book of Mormon and listen to the Spirit, but also that many answers are explicitly in the text. For example, the question about why there is suffering and good people are allowed to die or are killed.  We had a discussion about how without the bad, there wouldn't be any good.  As a result of mortality, we agreed to the consequences of mortality: sickness, aging, accidents, etc.  And even in man-made choice-driven situations (like war or murder or other awful things), if a righteous person is killed, then they are sooner in the rest of the Lord.  That really struck me and I told them so.

The those elders left and I was expecting a new set of elders to come in and teach me the same message. However, by some chance, Elder Cline forgot that he had just been in my room, and he had a new companion (Elder McCray) when they knocked on my door ten minutes later. Elder Cline was surprised when I opened the door, but he and Elder McCray made it work by saying they were doing splits. :)  Because Elder Cline had already taught me, he decided to change the message slightly (which was perfect!).  And actually in this situation, Elder Cline was the more advanced of the two elders in terms of the language.  Elder McCray was struggling with communicating in French, though he was able to share the most important things.

As they quickly changed their approach to the message, Elder Cline had me read 2 Nephi 32:3 and share what I thought of when I read that scripture.  As I read it, a new thought occurred to me that I shared with them: In the talk, The Tongue of Angels, Elder Holland talks about how we can speak with the tongue of angels. I elaborated on that point and said that when we have the Holy Ghost and are following His promptings and speaking what comes to us, we become angels to those with whom we interact.  That seemed to really strike Elder Cline.  They finished their message early, so I asked them both to share the scripture that has helped them a lot while they have been at the MTC.

Elder McCray shared his scripture first, Alma 26:12:
Yea, I know that I am ^anothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will ^bnot boast of myself, but I will ^cboast of my God, for in his ^dstrength I can do all ^ethings; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.
When Elder McCray elaborated on this scripture, the Spirit came so strongly.  He bore his testimony of how he knows that all his strength comes from God.


Elder Cline shared his scripture first, Ether 12:27:  
And if men come unto me I will show unto them their^aweakness. I ^bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my ^cgrace is sufficient for all men that ^dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make ^eweak things become strong unto them.
Then Elder Cline shared a simple, yet powerful testimony, of how hard it is to learn and communicate in another language. He shared how he feels so weak, yet he testified that the Lord will and does help him everyday.

As the elders were leaving, Elder Cline turned back and thanked me again for coming.  I think he and I needed each other today: I needed to learn from him and he needed learn from me. By "some" chance, he ended up in my room twice, he taught me twice.  Thank goodness for the Lord guiding our lives by His tender mercies.

Soundtrack of thunderstorms

It's been raining for the past week every day except for Saturday and Sunday morning.  Other than that, it's been raining.  I haven't minded too much except when I was walking home from an interview last Thursday because I'd been on the bus for four hours and I was super tired.

However, today I went up to campus to work on an article on peer mentor development to report the findings of the research I've been working on for the past two and almost-a-half years.  When I left from my apartment it was warm and overcast. It had already rained for the day so I didn't think that it would continue to rain until later tonight...much later. Silly me.

As I left the office around 5:30 with my bowl of carrot cake, it was definitely raining.  Knowing that I didn't need to show up anywhere all pretty-fied, I decided that I would enjoy my stroll in the rain and headed out.  I walked to the grocery store, picked up some lettuce and milk, wrapped my purse in a plastic bag (mostly to protect my library book that poked out), and walked home to the soundtrack of rain pitter-pattering on the road and thunder rumbling in the sky.

After walking for a little less than a mile, I arrived at my apartment completely soaked, and completely happy. I love the rain and I love thunderstorms.