After a long, but not bad, week of school, I was definitely looking forward to today. Friday. The end of the week. The day after the wax museum.
And today was great!
I love my students. Even though I had to give two kids think-times, I was able to give one of them a brag note later because he repented and changed and wanted to help out. My students helped me clean up. They were also all excited about making a decoration for Cody and my reception in December. They are so cute and I love them.
Plus, we had a discussion about using the bathroom responsibly and how we should only go to the bathroom when we need to, not to go talk with our buddies. That was fun. :) Also, we did a talking circle saying one thing we were grateful for and one of my girls spelled out: B-O-Y-S and then blushed and giggled. And the boy sitting next to her said, "Bows?" Funny.
And another one of my students said that she was grateful for me and that I'm nice because she was worried that I would be mean because she didn't know me. I'm glad she likes me because I like her to.
I'm grateful that most of the time I can honestly respect my students.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Never again (I wish)
My first Halloween at school as the real teacher in charge was crazy. Why is Halloween every year? And why does it revolve around candy for children? Do people know how crazy kids get with a bunch of sugar in their system? Halloween was my favorite holiday kindergarten through 3rd grade--what was I thinking?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
A lot has been happening
In the past couple weeks I've gotten my wedding dress back from being altered, we've started ordering announcements, and Cody and I were able to buy a contract for a place to live after we're married. Coupled with that the end of the term is this week, which means my first batch of report cards, make-up work, a field trip yesterday, a new term starts Monday, and I'm thinking of things I want to change for term 2 and wondering if it will all work out. Wondering if I'll ever stop feeling like I'm incompetent. Wondering if I'll ever feel like I'm actually on top of the game and not just flying by the seat of my pants, especially with employee obligations--meetings, trainings, reporting, assessing, etc.
I feel bad that Cody has to hear all my worries and complaints and discouragement from day to day. Thankfully things have been a little brighter on my end of things lately. The term is ending so I do get a fresh start of sorts next week. It's less than two months now until the wedding. We're supposed to get married so eventually both of our contracts will sell. The bridal showers are all set. And at least my students like me. And I have Cody. :) He makes everything better.
I feel bad that Cody has to hear all my worries and complaints and discouragement from day to day. Thankfully things have been a little brighter on my end of things lately. The term is ending so I do get a fresh start of sorts next week. It's less than two months now until the wedding. We're supposed to get married so eventually both of our contracts will sell. The bridal showers are all set. And at least my students like me. And I have Cody. :) He makes everything better.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
It finally came off!!
Last night when Cody and I were at 7 Peaks (for the stake opening social), we were walking into the wave pool, with two minutes until the waves were set to go off. When we reached the four feet point, where the drop off is in the pool, I turned funny, with my left foot twisting on top of my right foot, and suddenly my toenail on my right big toe feeling very loose.
Granted, I knew this toenail was coming off. I knew as soon as I broke my toe that I'd probably be losing my toenail, so I've long since said au revoir to that beloved toenail.
However, even though I had resigned myself to the fact that I'd be losing my toenail, it felt weird that it was finally here. I would be shortly losing my toenail. I started mildly panicking and Cody could see that I was worried so he had me sit down in a more shallow part of the wave pool and he began to examine my toenail.
While I kept freaking out and asking, "What are you doing?" as he was poking and prodding and examining my toenail, I decided that I wouldn't look at him or else I would imagine worse things than what he was probably doing. In the midst of my squirming, Cody asked me if I could feel anything that he was doing. I said, "No...Is it gone? Did you take it off?" Cody asked again if I was sure I really couldn't feel anything, to which I responded in the negative once more. He gave me a lopsided smile and said, "Well, it's off. You really didn't feel anything?"
He showed me my disgusting toenail that was no longer attached. And that is hopefully the longest story about a toenail that I shall ever write.
Granted, I knew this toenail was coming off. I knew as soon as I broke my toe that I'd probably be losing my toenail, so I've long since said au revoir to that beloved toenail.
However, even though I had resigned myself to the fact that I'd be losing my toenail, it felt weird that it was finally here. I would be shortly losing my toenail. I started mildly panicking and Cody could see that I was worried so he had me sit down in a more shallow part of the wave pool and he began to examine my toenail.
While I kept freaking out and asking, "What are you doing?" as he was poking and prodding and examining my toenail, I decided that I wouldn't look at him or else I would imagine worse things than what he was probably doing. In the midst of my squirming, Cody asked me if I could feel anything that he was doing. I said, "No...Is it gone? Did you take it off?" Cody asked again if I was sure I really couldn't feel anything, to which I responded in the negative once more. He gave me a lopsided smile and said, "Well, it's off. You really didn't feel anything?"
He showed me my disgusting toenail that was no longer attached. And that is hopefully the longest story about a toenail that I shall ever write.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
It's been a while...
School started on Monday. So basically, my life has been sucked up with school, planning, Cody, and sleeping. Oh, and eating is in there too. I have been eating. :) I've loved getting to know my team better and the rest of the faculty at the school. But that's what's going on in my life.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
I suppose I should write what happened now...
Even though Cody is ten times better at telling this story than I am, I figured I probably ought to write it now.
Here are some dates and events to know going in to this account:
16 June 2011: Cody and I admitted to each other that we loved each other.
17 June 2011: Cody and I went on the 7 Wonders of Provo date. It was on that date that Cody and I visited the Castle Rock Amphitheater by the Utah State Hospital,
went to the Weeping American Elm,
and the night when, in a moment of my weakness when I was discouraged (because even though we knew we loved each other, what if it stopped? What if Cody decided he didn't love me anymore?), Cody told me that his intention was to marry me. After telling me that, we went and sat on the east side of the Provo temple and talked a little bit more about our intention to get married.
23 June 2011: After Institute, Cody and I went to Rock Canyon Park and discussed and prayed about when we would get married. We knew December was right. We preferred December 23rd because 23 is my second favorite number.
9 July 2011: Cody and I went ring shopping in Springville so we wouldn't be met by any Provo-ites and so Cody could get an idea of what I liked before he went to his Uncle Dave with whom he would design the ring since Dave is a jeweler.
16 July 2011: Cody and I planned the meals we would be making together for the next week. On July 23 we decided we would have a picnic at the Castle Rock Amphitheater since it would be 5 months exactly before our unannounced-at-that-time wedding.
20 July 2011: I broke my toe. For more details, please read this post.
And now we come to the story: It was July 23. Cody and I ate breakfast together but then he went over to his best friend's apartment to do his laundry (because it's free there) and work on his talk for the next day and he didn't want to be "distracted" (while he admitted later that he probably wouldn't have been very distracted, he couldn't have me with him). I decided I would be productive, and accordingly, I spread out all the teacher materials I'd brought home with me and started curriculum mapping and planning and scheduling and feeling like I'd accomplished something by the time Cody came back. Cody left around 10am. He didn't get back until 3pm. Around 1pm I texted him asking him how his talk was coming since I hadn't heard from him for a while; he said it was nearly done but that he was waiting for his laundry. When he finally returned to Arcadia at 3pm he said that Tyler's dryer always takes longer on his darks than on his whites (which is true but is not the whole reason why he was two hours late).
During that time that I was working on school stuff and he was doing his laundry and writing his talk, he made time to go pick up the ring that he'd designed for me. Unbeknownst to me, on 13 July 2011, Cody had gone into Dave's store and started the process of designing and ordering my ring--complete with an infinity symbol and a sapphire. Ten days after first going to Dave's store, the ring was ready (much to Cody's joy because it was the 23rd--my second favorite number--what better day than the 23rd to propose?) and he went to pick it up when he wasn't with me.
When we were planning out where to go now for our picnic, since it requires a little bit of a hike to get to the pond, we Xed that off of our list since I wasn't as mobile as I am now on my gimp foot. Cody had been thinking about that and proposed that maybe we could go eat at the Weeping American Elm (special memories, we'd visited the tree the same night that he told me he wanted to marry me, etc.).
However. I thought we were just going for a picnic. So I vetoed the tree (because I didn't want to just eat under a shady huge wonderful tree--I wanted to see some sun, lay on some grass, etc.) and I proposed that we go to the "newly" (as in last fall) landscaped and finished trails on the south end of campus. Cody agreed. We made our delicious sandwiches and headed over.
We found a nice place to sit and eat that was a little off the path and that had a nice grassy area next to it--which I was way excited for because my wish of laying on the grass would be able to come true. We ate our food. It was yummy. Then we went and sat on the grass. We laid on our backs and talked--about my grandparents, about probably weird things--and looked at the dragonflies.
All during this time I was totally not paying attention to any of Cody's attention signals, I guess, because apparently he'd been looking out the whole time, waiting for all the pedestrians to leave the area. When the coast was clear, he sat up. I didn't think anything was different or weird about that. Sometimes he does that, sits up, I mean. I kept looking at the dragonflies. Then he asked me to sit up. I didn't think that was weird either. I thought we were getting ready to go or talk about something serious and he wanted us to have eye contact or something.
So there were were, both sitting up on the grass. Then Cody changed positions and was on one knee and I started freaking out. "Are you serious? You're not serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? You're not serious!" And then he pulled out the ring box and I continued to freak out. "Cody, you're not serious! You're not serious!"
I managed to stop freaking out and Cody told me how much he loves me and how he'd waited a long time for this and would I marry him.
Now. Cody knew I would say yes. I knew I would say yes. I'd told him that I would tell him yes. I'd even told him that I wouldn't ever make him wait.
But then I made him wait. I didn't mean to. And I didn't even realize it until later when Cody and I were leaving our picnic spot when he told me. Apparently I'd laughed (which I remembered doing) for about a minute and a half (I don't remember it being that long) before I kissed him and said, "Of course I'll marry you!"
Then he tremblingly took the ring out of the box and put it on my equally tremby left ring finger. And voila. We are engaged. And we get married December 22--not the 23rd--because the times at the temple work a lot better for the 22nd. Plus, it's easier for our family members who will be traveling around that time.
Je suis tres heureuse. :)
Here are some dates and events to know going in to this account:
16 June 2011: Cody and I admitted to each other that we loved each other.
17 June 2011: Cody and I went on the 7 Wonders of Provo date. It was on that date that Cody and I visited the Castle Rock Amphitheater by the Utah State Hospital,
 |
| At the Castle Rock Amphitheater by the Utah State Hospital on 17 June 2011 |
 |
| At the Weeping American Elm tree together on 17 June 2011 |
23 June 2011: After Institute, Cody and I went to Rock Canyon Park and discussed and prayed about when we would get married. We knew December was right. We preferred December 23rd because 23 is my second favorite number.
9 July 2011: Cody and I went ring shopping in Springville so we wouldn't be met by any Provo-ites and so Cody could get an idea of what I liked before he went to his Uncle Dave with whom he would design the ring since Dave is a jeweler.
16 July 2011: Cody and I planned the meals we would be making together for the next week. On July 23 we decided we would have a picnic at the Castle Rock Amphitheater since it would be 5 months exactly before our unannounced-at-that-time wedding.
 |
| Pond area where were planning to have our picnic on 23 July 2011 |
And now we come to the story: It was July 23. Cody and I ate breakfast together but then he went over to his best friend's apartment to do his laundry (because it's free there) and work on his talk for the next day and he didn't want to be "distracted" (while he admitted later that he probably wouldn't have been very distracted, he couldn't have me with him). I decided I would be productive, and accordingly, I spread out all the teacher materials I'd brought home with me and started curriculum mapping and planning and scheduling and feeling like I'd accomplished something by the time Cody came back. Cody left around 10am. He didn't get back until 3pm. Around 1pm I texted him asking him how his talk was coming since I hadn't heard from him for a while; he said it was nearly done but that he was waiting for his laundry. When he finally returned to Arcadia at 3pm he said that Tyler's dryer always takes longer on his darks than on his whites (which is true but is not the whole reason why he was two hours late).
During that time that I was working on school stuff and he was doing his laundry and writing his talk, he made time to go pick up the ring that he'd designed for me. Unbeknownst to me, on 13 July 2011, Cody had gone into Dave's store and started the process of designing and ordering my ring--complete with an infinity symbol and a sapphire. Ten days after first going to Dave's store, the ring was ready (much to Cody's joy because it was the 23rd--my second favorite number--what better day than the 23rd to propose?) and he went to pick it up when he wasn't with me.
When we were planning out where to go now for our picnic, since it requires a little bit of a hike to get to the pond, we Xed that off of our list since I wasn't as mobile as I am now on my gimp foot. Cody had been thinking about that and proposed that maybe we could go eat at the Weeping American Elm (special memories, we'd visited the tree the same night that he told me he wanted to marry me, etc.).
However. I thought we were just going for a picnic. So I vetoed the tree (because I didn't want to just eat under a shady huge wonderful tree--I wanted to see some sun, lay on some grass, etc.) and I proposed that we go to the "newly" (as in last fall) landscaped and finished trails on the south end of campus. Cody agreed. We made our delicious sandwiches and headed over.
We found a nice place to sit and eat that was a little off the path and that had a nice grassy area next to it--which I was way excited for because my wish of laying on the grass would be able to come true. We ate our food. It was yummy. Then we went and sat on the grass. We laid on our backs and talked--about my grandparents, about probably weird things--and looked at the dragonflies.
All during this time I was totally not paying attention to any of Cody's attention signals, I guess, because apparently he'd been looking out the whole time, waiting for all the pedestrians to leave the area. When the coast was clear, he sat up. I didn't think anything was different or weird about that. Sometimes he does that, sits up, I mean. I kept looking at the dragonflies. Then he asked me to sit up. I didn't think that was weird either. I thought we were getting ready to go or talk about something serious and he wanted us to have eye contact or something.
So there were were, both sitting up on the grass. Then Cody changed positions and was on one knee and I started freaking out. "Are you serious? You're not serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? You're not serious!" And then he pulled out the ring box and I continued to freak out. "Cody, you're not serious! You're not serious!"
I managed to stop freaking out and Cody told me how much he loves me and how he'd waited a long time for this and would I marry him.
 |
| My pretty ring, 23 July 2011 |
Now. Cody knew I would say yes. I knew I would say yes. I'd told him that I would tell him yes. I'd even told him that I wouldn't ever make him wait.
But then I made him wait. I didn't mean to. And I didn't even realize it until later when Cody and I were leaving our picnic spot when he told me. Apparently I'd laughed (which I remembered doing) for about a minute and a half (I don't remember it being that long) before I kissed him and said, "Of course I'll marry you!"
Then he tremblingly took the ring out of the box and put it on my equally tremby left ring finger. And voila. We are engaged. And we get married December 22--not the 23rd--because the times at the temple work a lot better for the 22nd. Plus, it's easier for our family members who will be traveling around that time.
Je suis tres heureuse. :)
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Engaged.
I'm engaged. I'll write what happened later. I know I need to write something and I will. Later. :) But not too much later.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
The first bone
On Wednesday I was at school moving things around and putting things away in my classroom. As I was attempting to move a table from the spare room to my classroom, the table slipped and fell onto my big toe on my right foot. After I moved my foot from underneath the table, I sat down on the ground and kept saying, "You'll be alright, you'll be alright, you'll be alright." After the pounding in my foot subsided after a minute or so, I got back up, grabbed the table and hauled it over to my classroom. I noticed my toe was bleeding a little bit so I rinsed it off in the sink and put a band-aid on it from the handy-dandy first-aid kit in my classroom.
Eventually I told the other teachers that were there and asked them what I should do--I took some Excedrin and iced my foot, but they said I couldn't really do anything for toes, so I decided I couldn't really do anything and kept working.
After driving home, I ate dinner and iced my foot again. My roommate, boyfriend, and Dad all told me I should get it looked at by a doctor; accordingly, Cody and I drove to the InstaCare at the hospital. Turned out I had broken my toe, but only the bone on the end of my toe so I wouldn't need a cast. I would just wear a shoe for 2-3 weeks, take an antibiotic for a week, ice it, elevate my foot, and try to stay off of my foot as much as possible.
And that's my story of the first bone I've ever broken.
(my swollen right toe compared to my normal left toe)
After driving home, I ate dinner and iced my foot again. My roommate, boyfriend, and Dad all told me I should get it looked at by a doctor; accordingly, Cody and I drove to the InstaCare at the hospital. Turned out I had broken my toe, but only the bone on the end of my toe so I wouldn't need a cast. I would just wear a shoe for 2-3 weeks, take an antibiotic for a week, ice it, elevate my foot, and try to stay off of my foot as much as possible.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I'm a nerd...
I've been able to finally start the research that I've been waiting to start since Monday (a glitch in communication held up starting the real research) and I have to say...
I love it. I love working on research.
At least this stage of things--because I know there will be findings! Even if it's mundane, as I'm doing my part analyzing fourth grade literacy readers, I know that it's part of a larger whole that will produce some interesting and insightful findings.
I love it. I love working on research.
At least this stage of things--because I know there will be findings! Even if it's mundane, as I'm doing my part analyzing fourth grade literacy readers, I know that it's part of a larger whole that will produce some interesting and insightful findings.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Revision on Goal #1
Goal 1: My body protested quite forcibly when I tried to force it awake to go exercise at 5am.
Revision: Keep going once a week for now; when I move to Alpine Village I can use the machines there in the evening-time. Focus on waking up at 6am to get to the library on time. That's enough for now. Maybe someday my body will be okay with me waking it up at the crack of dawn to exercise. So far it hasn't worked, but stranger things have happened, right?
Revision: Keep going once a week for now; when I move to Alpine Village I can use the machines there in the evening-time. Focus on waking up at 6am to get to the library on time. That's enough for now. Maybe someday my body will be okay with me waking it up at the crack of dawn to exercise. So far it hasn't worked, but stranger things have happened, right?
Monday, July 11, 2011
Goals to help Beth become Human again...
I will never deny that I have thoroughly enjoyed the past couple months of sleeping in because of being job-less and in search-mode. But the time has come for me to join the rest of society again, leave my vacation-like life of sleeping in and getting around 10 hours of sleep every night :) ... Let's see if these goals help:
1. Wake up at 5am to go running on the BYU track with my roommate
2. At least this week and next week, be at the library by 7am to work on research till about 2pm.
3. Eat salads for lunch--or at least something vegetable-y.
4. Write down what I think I need to do for school and for sanity and organize them by days so I don't feel overwhelmed and can work on a little something every day
5. Try as hard as I can not to get behind on my journal...at least no more than a week...
6.Write things down...
7. Decide what needs to stay or go to protect my privacy and image as a teacher...maybe this blog will become private...
Let's see how this works...
1. Wake up at 5am to go running on the BYU track with my roommate
2. At least this week and next week, be at the library by 7am to work on research till about 2pm.
3. Eat salads for lunch--or at least something vegetable-y.
4. Write down what I think I need to do for school and for sanity and organize them by days so I don't feel overwhelmed and can work on a little something every day
5. Try as hard as I can not to get behind on my journal...at least no more than a week...
6.Write things down...
7. Decide what needs to stay or go to protect my privacy and image as a teacher...maybe this blog will become private...
Let's see how this works...
Thursday, July 7, 2011
"Let the memory live again"
I love remembering. And this week, it isn't just me remembering! With Independence Day on Monday and Cody's one-year mark home from his mission yesterday, and with my crazy ability to remember things, there has been a lot of memories swirling around in heads lately.
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And that same thought is true with so many experiences in my life, especially since being out here in Utah and during my undergrad years. There was a lot I couldn't see about the experiences I would have, the people I would meet, the person I would become. Yet the best part is that I'm still meeting people, I'm still having experiences, and I'm still becoming. So, in a way, the memory does live on, because more memories are being made all the time.
Which gets me thinking--why do we remember? Why don't we just forget everything that we experience, that we say, people we meet, feelings we've had? As Cody and I have talked, we've brought up lots of different memories that we have, from the trivial and mundane to the life-changing and critical. I get why we would remember the life-changing/critical experience, but why don't the little memories dissolve? Why is it that whenever I smell a new stick of cherry Chapstick, I always think of being huddled under my blanket at Rainbow Academy during naptime playing with my Polly Pocket from McDonald's? That's such a random memory, and yet, it always comes to the surface when I smell cherry Chapstick.
Some obvious and important reasons why I can think of why we remember is to relate to people, to not make the same mistakes, to predict actions/consequences for ourselves and others, and to be grateful for changes in our situation or in ourselves that have led us to be where we are, even in hard times.
And then Cats comes into the picture. I've never seen the musical Cats, I'm not really sure if I want to or not; I know nothing about it. But I do know that I love the song, Memory. In the sharing of memories, as we allow others a small glimpse into our experiences and into our becoming process, we live again in that moment. Yet, while we can remember how we felt--the fear, the thrill, the excitement, the newness of situations we experienced in the past--we also have an added lense of the experiences since that moment.
For example, as I think about my dating experiences, I've had some really fun dates and have dated some great guys, but I have also had some really awful times and when I remember them, I remember how I felt, even if I do not feel the same way now. As I've talked with Cody about different experiences I've had with dating--good, bad, and ugly--both he and I came to the conclusion, that even though some of the things we've had to pass through were not ideal and we wouldn't have asked for them, they brought us to where we are in our lives, and that since we've moved past the people or emotions that are involved in our pasts, they pale. Of course, the memories do not dissolve, they are still there. But they pale in comparison to the new experiences, the new emotions, the new growth that is happening. The lense of our experiences and situation now allow us to see more clearly the road that led us here, a road that seemed directionless and dark before.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
"Way to break your bow"
Yesterday I got my 7th notification that I had done a great job in the interview and it was really hard deciding, but they've decided to give the position to someone else. I was a bit disappointed and a little discouraged--what am I doing wrong? Am I answering the questions wrong? Am I just not supposed to get a job? Is this just supposed to be hard for me?
That is the vein of thought I was in around 2pm yesterday when Cody came home from work and I apologize for that--I wouldn't want to be around that kind of thinking. But thankfully, shortly thereafter, Cody and I read 1 Nephi 16. Now, whenever I read 1 Nephi 16 and get to the part about Nephi breaking his bow, I always think of seminary and Mike Davis giving the commentary from Laman and Lemuel, "Way to break your bow, Nephi!" It still makes me smile.
Yet this time reading through chapter 16, Cody helped me see how my situation right now totally applies to that chapter--I need to not murmur, be ready to make a new bow (even when my precious steel one breaks), go to others for help and guidance, be faithful and diligent and give heed to the words of the Lord found in the scriptures and modern revelation, etc. That was the perfect start for me to rise above my discouragement and become hopeful again. No, it isn't easy; but after Nephi and his family struggled in this chapter, they found Bountiful and had rest for a little bit before going on to their next adventure. The same could be true for me.
That is the vein of thought I was in around 2pm yesterday when Cody came home from work and I apologize for that--I wouldn't want to be around that kind of thinking. But thankfully, shortly thereafter, Cody and I read 1 Nephi 16. Now, whenever I read 1 Nephi 16 and get to the part about Nephi breaking his bow, I always think of seminary and Mike Davis giving the commentary from Laman and Lemuel, "Way to break your bow, Nephi!" It still makes me smile.
Yet this time reading through chapter 16, Cody helped me see how my situation right now totally applies to that chapter--I need to not murmur, be ready to make a new bow (even when my precious steel one breaks), go to others for help and guidance, be faithful and diligent and give heed to the words of the Lord found in the scriptures and modern revelation, etc. That was the perfect start for me to rise above my discouragement and become hopeful again. No, it isn't easy; but after Nephi and his family struggled in this chapter, they found Bountiful and had rest for a little bit before going on to their next adventure. The same could be true for me.
Plus, I got two letters in the mail yesterday which made me so happy, especially since one of them has been a long awaited letter from Lindsey Herde! And she was inspired and included this quote at the end of her letter, "Progress is any movement toward peaceful acceptance of whatever the future may hold. Working on things we can change, whether in personal or professional life, rather than concentrating and obsessing about those we can't, builds self worth and fosters hope" (August 2008, Ensign, "Single and Steadfast: Lessons in Hope). Thank you, Lindsey!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Happy :)
There is no other way for me to say it:
Right now I am more happy than I have ever been in my life. Heavenly Father knows what He is doing and I just need to trust Him.
p.s. Interview went well today; I'll find out next week.
p.p.s. I got to spend time with Michigan people tonight--awesomest thing ever!
Right now I am more happy than I have ever been in my life. Heavenly Father knows what He is doing and I just need to trust Him.
p.s. Interview went well today; I'll find out next week.
p.p.s. I got to spend time with Michigan people tonight--awesomest thing ever!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Patience?
Recently I've discovered that while I can be patient about some things (children [for the most part], other people's choices that don't really affect me, the weather, etc.) there are some things that I most definitely need work on--for example: people's choices that do affect me, knowing what I'll be doing with my life in the next few months or years, keeping certain comments to myself that I really want to say but maybe the time isn't right.
Yeah...that last one. I tell myself at night before I go to sleep that there are certain things that I will or will not say, that I will or will not be the first person to say something, and yet it seems that promptly after I've made that decision, I'm placed in a situation where I break that decision I made to myself. Why? Because I'm not patient enough with myself, with timing, with the natural flow of things. A poster-child for this problem I have would be like when I'd really wanted the job at Meadow and I told myself I wouldn't talk about it. Did I talk about it? Um. Yes. I did talk about it and what happened when I didn't get that job? I had to eat my words and be humble. And not just any kind of humble--I was compelled to be humble which is so much harder.
I'm afraid to pray for patience because then life gets really hard and I'll get lots of wonderful opportunities to practice it but it will be so hard. So I'll try to practice patience with the situations I have now: getting a job, going forward in life, what to do each day and sometimes not feeling productive, dating, writing, building new friendships with people. That should be enough room to grow in patience, right? Let's hope so.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Needing a little pick me up? Apparently I did.
I woke up this morning feeling pretty good about my life--things are still in the shadows regarding a job but I do have another interview this Thursday for a fifth grade position (my favorite!), plus having a somewhat flippantly uttered whim at the beginning of spring term come true is also a nice surprise and addition to my life (I've started dating someone). Yet even though I'm feeling pretty happy about life in general, Heavenly Father still found ways to make it even better!
1. I got to see Megan Smith this morning at the temple.
2. I got to see my hot air balloon this morning (it's rainbow-ish design and I know I've seen it on four different times: 28 February 2009, 28 March 2009, 17 October 2009, and 19 March 2011 and today, of course).
3. Cody Knudsen got to see my hot air balloon out the window of the HBLL.
4. Brad Wilcox gave me a hug at the reading workshop this morning (he gives great hugs and he's like a second Dad to me).
5. One of the girls that was in the class I was observed teaching for the Rocky Mountain 3rd grade position came up to me after the reading workshop and told me that she thought I had done a great job and that she'd wanted me to be hired.
6. Amy Miner, one of my former professors and mentors and friends, sent me an email telling me not to be discouraged about finding a job.
7. I bought a little chocolate bar at the grocery store.
8. Amber Thomas reminded me about the activity I was supposed to have already printed out and put on doors already so now I can.
9. I was able to type up my journal entries this morning (rather than taking the time to hand-write them which I usually do) which was a blessing in and of itself because it was five pages and it would probably have exceeded the limit of the last few remaining pages in my current journal.
10. I got a voice mail message from the principal where I have my interview on Thursday in response to my message this morning saying that I didn't know her exact address to send her numbers for my references and so I'd gone to the website and it said the principal was a man. And in my message I told her that I'm assuming she isn't a man so obviously the information was incorrect. And in her message for me, she said that yes the info needs to be updated because she definitely is not a man. That made me laugh really hard.
1. I got to see Megan Smith this morning at the temple.
2. I got to see my hot air balloon this morning (it's rainbow-ish design and I know I've seen it on four different times: 28 February 2009, 28 March 2009, 17 October 2009, and 19 March 2011 and today, of course).
3. Cody Knudsen got to see my hot air balloon out the window of the HBLL.
4. Brad Wilcox gave me a hug at the reading workshop this morning (he gives great hugs and he's like a second Dad to me).
5. One of the girls that was in the class I was observed teaching for the Rocky Mountain 3rd grade position came up to me after the reading workshop and told me that she thought I had done a great job and that she'd wanted me to be hired.
6. Amy Miner, one of my former professors and mentors and friends, sent me an email telling me not to be discouraged about finding a job.
7. I bought a little chocolate bar at the grocery store.
8. Amber Thomas reminded me about the activity I was supposed to have already printed out and put on doors already so now I can.
9. I was able to type up my journal entries this morning (rather than taking the time to hand-write them which I usually do) which was a blessing in and of itself because it was five pages and it would probably have exceeded the limit of the last few remaining pages in my current journal.
10. I got a voice mail message from the principal where I have my interview on Thursday in response to my message this morning saying that I didn't know her exact address to send her numbers for my references and so I'd gone to the website and it said the principal was a man. And in my message I told her that I'm assuming she isn't a man so obviously the information was incorrect. And in her message for me, she said that yes the info needs to be updated because she definitely is not a man. That made me laugh really hard.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
People are so nice!
Yesterday a momentous event occurred: My flip-flops that my mom got for me freshman year of BYU from the Dollar Store finally broke. They should have broke on my way to the MTC yet because Heavenly Father loves me, they did not break until after.
How? Because my roommate, Em, was nice enough to offer me a ride to the MTC; thus, my flip-flops did not fall apart on the way there and I was able to go into the MTC and be taught by the missionaries because I had shoes on my feet. As I was leaving the MTC, I got to the corner of University Parkway and 900 E and my one flip-flop totally busted. So I took off my other one and continued my trek home. I walked a fairly good distance, enjoying the warm sidewalks and cool grass, and trying to walk more quickly over the asphalt and road areas because those places were hotter. And then who should pull up to give me a ride but my brother-in-law, Remick. How blessed am I? People are so nice!
Then this morning began "Get Lost in Utah County: Part III".
I hopped on the bus around 7:20 to get to my interview in Alpine at 10:20. I made my transfer successfully and I'm enjoying the ride. As time passes, I know I'm getting closer and closer to my next transfer that will take me to the school, so I turn off my music and direct all my attention outside the window. As I see the street signs change from N/S to E/W I feel hopeful that I'm on the right track because the All-Knowing-Google directed me that my transfer stop will be at 8:46 at State St and 695 E, and from there I'll walk to 700 E and 17 N. No biggy, right?
Except that as the bus is cruisin' along, I see 300 E and then the next one is Main Street and the bus turns on Main Street and we're perpendicular to N/S again. Great! I inwardly freak out, pull the cord, and get off the bus and begin walking in the direction I just came from. Giving myself a silent pep talk about how I still have twenty minutes till the next bus comes to make the transfer, it's only a few blocks over, I'll totally make it.
Yet, as I walk down Main Street to State Street and south on State, the numbers change from 300 E to being in the Souths again. Thoroughly confused and not quite sure where I even am--I could see the G on the mountain so I thought that maybe I was in Pleasant Grove, but I really didn't know--so I began calling people. First I called Terri because she's superwoman and can do anything. She didn't answer her phone so I left a message telling her I was lost but that I would continue to call other people. Then I called Ally Gordon. Then I called my former roommate Ashley Carter. Nothing worked. Then I tried Paige. And Paige was my hero of the before-interview-time. She came and found me and drove me to the school for my interview.
The interview went well. :)
Afterword, I was waiting outside because Terri had gotten a hold of me and she said she would come pick me up and take me to a bus stop so I wouldn't need to wait for the bus that would be coming at 1pm. The girl who interviewed after me, Brittany, came outside. She and I had taken classes together at BYU and chatted for a few minutes. Then she graciously offered me a ride back to Provo. I called Terri, informed her of the change in plans, and rode off with Brittany.
I just need to make a public declaration of gratitude to these kind, caring people who have gone out of their way to help me in my car-less, shoe-less, and directions-challenged state. THANK YOU!
Then this morning began "Get Lost in Utah County: Part III".
I hopped on the bus around 7:20 to get to my interview in Alpine at 10:20. I made my transfer successfully and I'm enjoying the ride. As time passes, I know I'm getting closer and closer to my next transfer that will take me to the school, so I turn off my music and direct all my attention outside the window. As I see the street signs change from N/S to E/W I feel hopeful that I'm on the right track because the All-Knowing-Google directed me that my transfer stop will be at 8:46 at State St and 695 E, and from there I'll walk to 700 E and 17 N. No biggy, right?
Except that as the bus is cruisin' along, I see 300 E and then the next one is Main Street and the bus turns on Main Street and we're perpendicular to N/S again. Great! I inwardly freak out, pull the cord, and get off the bus and begin walking in the direction I just came from. Giving myself a silent pep talk about how I still have twenty minutes till the next bus comes to make the transfer, it's only a few blocks over, I'll totally make it.
Yet, as I walk down Main Street to State Street and south on State, the numbers change from 300 E to being in the Souths again. Thoroughly confused and not quite sure where I even am--I could see the G on the mountain so I thought that maybe I was in Pleasant Grove, but I really didn't know--so I began calling people. First I called Terri because she's superwoman and can do anything. She didn't answer her phone so I left a message telling her I was lost but that I would continue to call other people. Then I called Ally Gordon. Then I called my former roommate Ashley Carter. Nothing worked. Then I tried Paige. And Paige was my hero of the before-interview-time. She came and found me and drove me to the school for my interview.
The interview went well. :)
Afterword, I was waiting outside because Terri had gotten a hold of me and she said she would come pick me up and take me to a bus stop so I wouldn't need to wait for the bus that would be coming at 1pm. The girl who interviewed after me, Brittany, came outside. She and I had taken classes together at BYU and chatted for a few minutes. Then she graciously offered me a ride back to Provo. I called Terri, informed her of the change in plans, and rode off with Brittany.
I just need to make a public declaration of gratitude to these kind, caring people who have gone out of their way to help me in my car-less, shoe-less, and directions-challenged state. THANK YOU!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Texting on a New Phone
Last night after I got back from the On The Roof concert and going to Burger Supreme for the first time, I was snuggling in to bed, talking with my roommate who I hadn't seen all day, and I got a text. The text was from one of my friends saying she got a new number. As such, I promptly saved it in my phone.
This morning, after getting up and cleaning and doing laundry, I started finishing the end of Shakespeare's Henry VI: Part One. Then I had the brilliant idea that since I didn't see the light of day yesterday because I was stuck in the Freshman Mentoring office finishing the article on peer mentor development: a qualitative rubric analysis, I would water paint this morning. As I was taking out my water color supplies, I got a text from the friend who had texted me the night before. The text read:
Oh great. How is your pregnancy going?
I pretty much died laughing right then. Seriously. Tears were coming out of my eyes and I couldn't hold my body up because I was convulsing with laughter. How did I respond?
You just sent that to the wrong person. This is Beth and I'm definitely not pregnant unless it's by immaculate conception. ;) But that gave me one of the best laughs I've had for a while. Tears were coming.
Her response: Haha, I didn't know it would sent to everyone. That was to someone else.
Me: Well that's what I figured :)
Texting on a new phone is always an adventure.
This morning, after getting up and cleaning and doing laundry, I started finishing the end of Shakespeare's Henry VI: Part One. Then I had the brilliant idea that since I didn't see the light of day yesterday because I was stuck in the Freshman Mentoring office finishing the article on peer mentor development: a qualitative rubric analysis, I would water paint this morning. As I was taking out my water color supplies, I got a text from the friend who had texted me the night before. The text read:
Oh great. How is your pregnancy going?
I pretty much died laughing right then. Seriously. Tears were coming out of my eyes and I couldn't hold my body up because I was convulsing with laughter. How did I respond?
You just sent that to the wrong person. This is Beth and I'm definitely not pregnant unless it's by immaculate conception. ;) But that gave me one of the best laughs I've had for a while. Tears were coming.
Her response: Haha, I didn't know it would sent to everyone. That was to someone else.
Me: Well that's what I figured :)
Texting on a new phone is always an adventure.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
4th notification
I've been blessed to have had four interviews for teaching jobs in the fall. Unfortunately, I've also had four emails telling me that those positions are now filled.
It's a little disheartening but I've learned not to really get my heart set on any job until I get the call that they want to hire me. I know it will come eventually.
In the meantime, I keep searching every single day on the three websites that are going to soon take over gmail as my most frequented websites: Teachers-Teachers, Alpine Jobs, and Nebo Jobs. I recently get myself set up on the Nebo district website and have applied to the one position that was listed at the time. Thankfully, my list of schools that I've applied to hasn't gotten smaller than 6 at any one point, but it will be a very happy day when I can officially archive that email I keep sending to myself of where I've applied and which positions are now filled.
In other news, I emailed two professors that I've worked with a lot the past few years at BYU--Tim Morrison and Brad Wilcox. Brad emailed me back and informed me that he and Tim will be meeting Tuesday morning at 8 and would I like to join them so I can be up to speed on everything that is going on. It will feel good to be involved again. Even though it will be strictly voluntary (unless I apply for a grant like I almost did last year), it will be great for grad school admissions...but grad school will only be a possibility if I get a job...which I will, at the right time and for the right school.
In the meantime, I keep searching every single day on the three websites that are going to soon take over gmail as my most frequented websites: Teachers-Teachers, Alpine Jobs, and Nebo Jobs. I recently get myself set up on the Nebo district website and have applied to the one position that was listed at the time. Thankfully, my list of schools that I've applied to hasn't gotten smaller than 6 at any one point, but it will be a very happy day when I can officially archive that email I keep sending to myself of where I've applied and which positions are now filled.
In other news, I emailed two professors that I've worked with a lot the past few years at BYU--Tim Morrison and Brad Wilcox. Brad emailed me back and informed me that he and Tim will be meeting Tuesday morning at 8 and would I like to join them so I can be up to speed on everything that is going on. It will feel good to be involved again. Even though it will be strictly voluntary (unless I apply for a grant like I almost did last year), it will be great for grad school admissions...but grad school will only be a possibility if I get a job...which I will, at the right time and for the right school.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
By "some" chance...
I went to the TRC (Teaching Resource Center) at the MTC (Missionary Training Center) this afternoon, like I've been doing again every week since I graduated. I've been so blessed because I've been able to be with the group of missionaries that have been there for the past few weeks. They've been here for seven weeks and have only two more weeks here. Since I've been taught by several of them more than once over the past few weeks, I've been able to see the growth and change as they've been learning French, their ability to teach the Gospel, and their ability to teach with a companion.
Today was one of the best experiences I've had as a volunteer there. I was taught first by two elders: Elders Cline and Barker. Elder Barker, I think, knew French before (I think that because his accent and sentence structure and grammar are very advanced), whereas Elder Cline learned all of it in the MTC. They taught me a lesson on how we gain revelation by studying the Book of Mormon. Elder Barker brought up the point that all our questions can be answered as we read the Book of Mormon and listen to the Spirit, but also that many answers are explicitly in the text. For example, the question about why there is suffering and good people are allowed to die or are killed. We had a discussion about how without the bad, there wouldn't be any good. As a result of mortality, we agreed to the consequences of mortality: sickness, aging, accidents, etc. And even in man-made choice-driven situations (like war or murder or other awful things), if a righteous person is killed, then they are sooner in the rest of the Lord. That really struck me and I told them so.
The those elders left and I was expecting a new set of elders to come in and teach me the same message. However, by some chance, Elder Cline forgot that he had just been in my room, and he had a new companion (Elder McCray) when they knocked on my door ten minutes later. Elder Cline was surprised when I opened the door, but he and Elder McCray made it work by saying they were doing splits. :) Because Elder Cline had already taught me, he decided to change the message slightly (which was perfect!). And actually in this situation, Elder Cline was the more advanced of the two elders in terms of the language. Elder McCray was struggling with communicating in French, though he was able to share the most important things.
As they quickly changed their approach to the message, Elder Cline had me read 2 Nephi 32:3 and share what I thought of when I read that scripture. As I read it, a new thought occurred to me that I shared with them: In the talk, The Tongue of Angels, Elder Holland talks about how we can speak with the tongue of angels. I elaborated on that point and said that when we have the Holy Ghost and are following His promptings and speaking what comes to us, we become angels to those with whom we interact. That seemed to really strike Elder Cline. They finished their message early, so I asked them both to share the scripture that has helped them a lot while they have been at the MTC.
Elder McCray shared his scripture first, Alma 26:12:
Yea, I know that I am anothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will bnot boast of myself, but I will cboast of my God, for in his dstrength I can do all ethings; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.
When Elder McCray elaborated on this scripture, the Spirit came so strongly. He bore his testimony of how he knows that all his strength comes from God.
Elder Cline shared his scripture first, Ether 12:27:
And if men come unto me I will show unto them theiraweakness. I bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my cgrace is sufficient for all men that dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make eweak things become strong unto them.
Then Elder Cline shared a simple, yet powerful testimony, of how hard it is to learn and communicate in another language. He shared how he feels so weak, yet he testified that the Lord will and does help him everyday.
As the elders were leaving, Elder Cline turned back and thanked me again for coming. I think he and I needed each other today: I needed to learn from him and he needed learn from me. By "some" chance, he ended up in my room twice, he taught me twice. Thank goodness for the Lord guiding our lives by His tender mercies.
Today was one of the best experiences I've had as a volunteer there. I was taught first by two elders: Elders Cline and Barker. Elder Barker, I think, knew French before (I think that because his accent and sentence structure and grammar are very advanced), whereas Elder Cline learned all of it in the MTC. They taught me a lesson on how we gain revelation by studying the Book of Mormon. Elder Barker brought up the point that all our questions can be answered as we read the Book of Mormon and listen to the Spirit, but also that many answers are explicitly in the text. For example, the question about why there is suffering and good people are allowed to die or are killed. We had a discussion about how without the bad, there wouldn't be any good. As a result of mortality, we agreed to the consequences of mortality: sickness, aging, accidents, etc. And even in man-made choice-driven situations (like war or murder or other awful things), if a righteous person is killed, then they are sooner in the rest of the Lord. That really struck me and I told them so.
The those elders left and I was expecting a new set of elders to come in and teach me the same message. However, by some chance, Elder Cline forgot that he had just been in my room, and he had a new companion (Elder McCray) when they knocked on my door ten minutes later. Elder Cline was surprised when I opened the door, but he and Elder McCray made it work by saying they were doing splits. :) Because Elder Cline had already taught me, he decided to change the message slightly (which was perfect!). And actually in this situation, Elder Cline was the more advanced of the two elders in terms of the language. Elder McCray was struggling with communicating in French, though he was able to share the most important things.
As they quickly changed their approach to the message, Elder Cline had me read 2 Nephi 32:3 and share what I thought of when I read that scripture. As I read it, a new thought occurred to me that I shared with them: In the talk, The Tongue of Angels, Elder Holland talks about how we can speak with the tongue of angels. I elaborated on that point and said that when we have the Holy Ghost and are following His promptings and speaking what comes to us, we become angels to those with whom we interact. That seemed to really strike Elder Cline. They finished their message early, so I asked them both to share the scripture that has helped them a lot while they have been at the MTC.
Elder McCray shared his scripture first, Alma 26:12:
Yea, I know that I am anothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will bnot boast of myself, but I will cboast of my God, for in his dstrength I can do all ethings; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.
When Elder McCray elaborated on this scripture, the Spirit came so strongly. He bore his testimony of how he knows that all his strength comes from God.
Elder Cline shared his scripture first, Ether 12:27:
And if men come unto me I will show unto them theiraweakness. I bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my cgrace is sufficient for all men that dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make eweak things become strong unto them.
Then Elder Cline shared a simple, yet powerful testimony, of how hard it is to learn and communicate in another language. He shared how he feels so weak, yet he testified that the Lord will and does help him everyday.
As the elders were leaving, Elder Cline turned back and thanked me again for coming. I think he and I needed each other today: I needed to learn from him and he needed learn from me. By "some" chance, he ended up in my room twice, he taught me twice. Thank goodness for the Lord guiding our lives by His tender mercies.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Soundtrack of thunderstorms
It's been raining for the past week every day except for Saturday and Sunday morning. Other than that, it's been raining. I haven't minded too much except when I was walking home from an interview last Thursday because I'd been on the bus for four hours and I was super tired.
However, today I went up to campus to work on an article on peer mentor development to report the findings of the research I've been working on for the past two and almost-a-half years. When I left from my apartment it was warm and overcast. It had already rained for the day so I didn't think that it would continue to rain until later tonight...much later. Silly me.
As I left the office around 5:30 with my bowl of carrot cake, it was definitely raining. Knowing that I didn't need to show up anywhere all pretty-fied, I decided that I would enjoy my stroll in the rain and headed out. I walked to the grocery store, picked up some lettuce and milk, wrapped my purse in a plastic bag (mostly to protect my library book that poked out), and walked home to the soundtrack of rain pitter-pattering on the road and thunder rumbling in the sky.
After walking for a little less than a mile, I arrived at my apartment completely soaked, and completely happy. I love the rain and I love thunderstorms.
However, today I went up to campus to work on an article on peer mentor development to report the findings of the research I've been working on for the past two and almost-a-half years. When I left from my apartment it was warm and overcast. It had already rained for the day so I didn't think that it would continue to rain until later tonight...much later. Silly me.
As I left the office around 5:30 with my bowl of carrot cake, it was definitely raining. Knowing that I didn't need to show up anywhere all pretty-fied, I decided that I would enjoy my stroll in the rain and headed out. I walked to the grocery store, picked up some lettuce and milk, wrapped my purse in a plastic bag (mostly to protect my library book that poked out), and walked home to the soundtrack of rain pitter-pattering on the road and thunder rumbling in the sky.
After walking for a little less than a mile, I arrived at my apartment completely soaked, and completely happy. I love the rain and I love thunderstorms.
Part One is done!!
After a stupid mistake last Tuesday that involved me updating the format of Part One of My Story which resulted in the entire document being encrypted and destroyed. All the changes I had made last Monday were lost. I shed a few tears in frustration and sadness.
But then I buckled down and worked on going through Part One once more. I finished going through it today! Now I'll be able to move on to Part Two tomorrow. If I keep at this pace, I should be done with going through and weeding through my whole story in just four more weeks.
My twelve-year-old writer-self is very happy at this accomplishment. :)
But then I buckled down and worked on going through Part One once more. I finished going through it today! Now I'll be able to move on to Part Two tomorrow. If I keep at this pace, I should be done with going through and weeding through my whole story in just four more weeks.
My twelve-year-old writer-self is very happy at this accomplishment. :)
(En français : Les suggestions pour l’étude des écritures)
Aujourd’hui j’ai étudié des suggestions pour l’étude des écritures. Il y a une question qui dit : « Quelles suggestions n’avez-vous pas encore essayées ? » Pendant le temps que je lisais les listes, quelques suggestions m’intriguées.
- Cherchez les mots-clés et assurez-vous que vous en comprenez le sens.
- Servez-vous de la Bible et des cartes de l’histoire de l’Eglise pour apprendre la géographie, les distances, le climat et le terrain.
- Essayez d’écrire en une seule phrase ou en un paragraphe court l’idée principale du passage
- Visualisez ce que vous étudiez.
Friday, May 20, 2011
(En français : Mes études des écritures)
Aujourd’hui j’ai fait l’activité dans « Prêchez mon Évangile » chapitre 2 : Une étude efficace, page 23 :
« Choisissez l’un des passages d’Ecriture suivants. En lisant le passage que vous avez choisi et en méditant à son sujet, trouvez deux ou trois manières de l’appliquer.
· 2 Néphi 31
· Alma 32 : 26-43
· Moroni 7 :32-48
Evaluez la façon dont vous pratiquez les principes que vous enseignez. Choisissez une manière de vous améliorer et prenez des dispositions pour le faire. »
J’ai fait l’exercice avec 2 Néphi 31. Pendant je lisais, quelques questions venaient :
2 Néphi 31 : 7—Comment est-ce que j’obéi plus ?
2 Néphi 31 : 12—Qu’est-ce que Jésus faisait que je dois faire ?
Je pense que je peux obéir plus dans la conseille pour le Sabbat : « Et afin de te préserver plus complètement des souillures du monde, tu iras en mon saint jour à la maison de prière et tu y offriras tes sacrements ; car en vérité, c’est ce jour qui t’est désigné pour que tu te reposes de tes labeurs et pour que tu présentes tes dévotions au Très-Haut » (D&A 59 :9-10). Tous que je fais sur le Sabbat doivent être pour la glorification de Dieu. Peut-être que mes actions seraient le service pour les autres ou lire les écritures ou parler à ma famille—mais je les fais maintenant. Quelle sont les autres activités que je peux faire ?
Je viens à mon autre question : chaque jour, mais en particulier, sur le Sabbat, qu’est-ce que le Sauveur faisait que je peux aussi faire ? Actes 10 : 38 : « Vous savez comment Dieu a oint du Saint-Esprit et de force Jésus de Nazareth, qui allait de lieu en lieu faisant du bien et guérissant tous ceux qui étaient sous l’empire du diable, car Dieu était avec lui. » C’est une question que je dois la penser plus avec la prière de me guider.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
My story aka The Monster--alive once more
Judging by the last save date on my documents, it has been nearly three years since I have opened up, looked at, worked on, saved, or in short, done anything with regards to the story that I began exactly ten years ago. However, despite all the setbacks that seemed to inevitably come with school, work, dating, etc. I have decided that since I have so much leisure time now, I might as well make myself useful. Next to the search for a job (which takes up it's own space of time each day) and scripture study (which I'm finally giving it more time, as it deserves), I've been dividing my time into four parts: reading, watching movies, drawing/painting, and now, writing.
Since it has been so long, and since it is in all respects "finished", it now needs to be weeded, reworked, and made to fit the moldings of my mind and goal for it.
This story, without a name still--I have just referred to it as My story for ten years, or to my own self, by the name of the folder where all the documents are: The Monster--has occupied my thoughts to varying degrees the past decade. There have been times, usually the summers in high school, when my characters occupied a real and active part of my imagination and thoughts. Of late, there have been no thoughts, except as it relates to the sigh, "I really should finish my story..."
I began reading through Part One yesterday and made it through 29 of the 37 pages. I was surprised by some of the things that I had added through the years--having nearly forgotten many of the small details that had been added since the original drafting of Part One ten years ago. (Interesting to note: when I wrote Part One as a twelve-year-old, I thought it was all I would write about the Setay's and Egerth's. Only, come to find out, it now has four other parts and it has morphed into something quite different, yet retaining the main premise of that first draft.) I found myself laughing out loud at some of the things I had written. That may seem vain of me, but it's true. I honestly had forgotten in the past three years what I had written probably five or six years ago.
So the journey begins again: I am going to wade through The Monster that has taken over my imagination and storage space on my computer for the past ten years and for once I am going to get it into the shape and story that I like. From there, we shall see. Perhaps then step two may finally emerge: maybe I will get it published, or try to at least.
Since it has been so long, and since it is in all respects "finished", it now needs to be weeded, reworked, and made to fit the moldings of my mind and goal for it.
This story, without a name still--I have just referred to it as My story for ten years, or to my own self, by the name of the folder where all the documents are: The Monster--has occupied my thoughts to varying degrees the past decade. There have been times, usually the summers in high school, when my characters occupied a real and active part of my imagination and thoughts. Of late, there have been no thoughts, except as it relates to the sigh, "I really should finish my story..."
I began reading through Part One yesterday and made it through 29 of the 37 pages. I was surprised by some of the things that I had added through the years--having nearly forgotten many of the small details that had been added since the original drafting of Part One ten years ago. (Interesting to note: when I wrote Part One as a twelve-year-old, I thought it was all I would write about the Setay's and Egerth's. Only, come to find out, it now has four other parts and it has morphed into something quite different, yet retaining the main premise of that first draft.) I found myself laughing out loud at some of the things I had written. That may seem vain of me, but it's true. I honestly had forgotten in the past three years what I had written probably five or six years ago.
So the journey begins again: I am going to wade through The Monster that has taken over my imagination and storage space on my computer for the past ten years and for once I am going to get it into the shape and story that I like. From there, we shall see. Perhaps then step two may finally emerge: maybe I will get it published, or try to at least.
Friday, May 13, 2011
back and forth
I keep going back and forth between having this blog be open to everyone or not...So if you get an invite and then realize you don't need to sign in, it's because I'm changing my mind all the time. :)
Friday the 13th
Friday the 13ths always have a soft spot in my heart because one of my best friend's favorite numbers is 13. I've recognized every single Friday the 13th for the past five years in his honor--not because they are unlucky but because they can be uncommonly lucky.
I'm hoping for that luck to come sometime soon in my search for job. Yet, I know that it won't be luck that "lands me the job"--it will first and foremost be the guidance of the Lord in my life, second of all it will be the help of my supervisors and those who wrote letters of recommendation for me, third of all it will be my ability to convey to my "judges" that I will be a qualified teacher and willing co-worker, and fourth of all, the goodness of my "judges" hearts to hire me.
I've been finding lilacs a lot lately--this week especially--which has made me so very happy! Lilacs always bring me such joy! Not only do they smell divine, but they are dainty and have a simple beauty. They also only come at one time of year, their own special season, which happens to pretty much be the month of May, maybe into the beginning of June, but more likely not.
Lilacs are a particularly bright spot in my life this week because I've been facing some inner doubts concerning how others perceive me. And I really shouldn't worry about it...and I usually don't...but I do sometimes.
I think I'm just overly-sensitive or something.
But back to today being Friday the 13th. I had a job interview today--let's hope the "luck" superstition holds!
I'm hoping for that luck to come sometime soon in my search for job. Yet, I know that it won't be luck that "lands me the job"--it will first and foremost be the guidance of the Lord in my life, second of all it will be the help of my supervisors and those who wrote letters of recommendation for me, third of all it will be my ability to convey to my "judges" that I will be a qualified teacher and willing co-worker, and fourth of all, the goodness of my "judges" hearts to hire me.
I've been finding lilacs a lot lately--this week especially--which has made me so very happy! Lilacs always bring me such joy! Not only do they smell divine, but they are dainty and have a simple beauty. They also only come at one time of year, their own special season, which happens to pretty much be the month of May, maybe into the beginning of June, but more likely not.
I think I'm just overly-sensitive or something.
But back to today being Friday the 13th. I had a job interview today--let's hope the "luck" superstition holds!
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